The Season of Giving or Guilt?

This week I've been overwhelmed by so many people who have given to me and my children for this Holiday season. So many surprises like a gift card to take Olivia to see a movie, handmade jewelry, a handmade chalkboard serving tray I've been wanting, yummy homemade treats...the list goes on and on.

Not only is it the season of GIVING, but it's also the season of GUILT.  Yes, guilt over eating and gaining the few pounds back I just lost, but also the guilt of not being able to buy for everyone, especially everyone that gives to us.  As I've mentioned in previous posts this is Jeff's 5th Christmas not working full time so he can finish school and pursue a better career and a life that will afford us to save for our retirement and put our children through school.  Every year I've had to get creative with my time and my budget to make sure that at least our family (parents/grandparents/aunts, etc.) are able to open something on Christmas day and also that it's something special.  We're typically not able to give them more than 1 or 2 things and because of this I also cannot buy for my friends.

Who has "Giving Guilt?"  What does that even mean?  For me it means the act of feeling guilty when someone gifts to me or my family but I cannot give to them.  Based on my past experience with certain people who've been in and out of my life, there are certain individuals who actually DO expect a gift in return when they give to you.  They apparently also think money grows on trees and since they have some and have never struggled, it doesn't even occur to them that others may not be as fortunate as they are.  I'm sure Santa can also deliver a Unicorn if you want one bad enough.

So what does the Holiday Season mean to me besides the added pounds on my hips and the guilt of not being able to give?  The Holidays for me are a time to step away from our every day routines and just spend time with the people we love.  For my family that usually includes a lot of yummy foods, alcohol, traditions new and old, lots of pictures, quite a few movies and LOTS of laughter.  I grew up spending every Christmas Eve with a big family with lots of great food and laughter and these are the traditions I'll be passing onto my children.

I spoke to a close friend and even if she doesn't know it yet, a mentor. She simply told me that all that matters "is that you love people and yourself. There is no price tag...there is no amount of anything in this world that compares. You have to remember that the person gifting is gifting themselves just by the act alone. People never know how much you care until you show them how much [and] that doesn't come in form of a gift...It shows in actions...in loyalty...in truth."

She's right. If someone is going to get hung up on the fact that I can't give a gift back to them, then are they really worth it? Sometimes with people in our life we don't have a choice to write them off, they could be family or people you work closely with, but maybe you just don't invest any more in that relationship if this is their attitude.

Will this stop me from feeling guilty next year? I don't know. But I do know that I don't feel worthy of all of these gifts so I will work extra hard next year to be the best person I can be to show these people that all year long I have something to give back.

Happy Holidays from all of us to you.