The baby is rockin’ and rollin’ in my tummy these days. The hard kicks and punches are coming on more and more every day. Last night when I was sleeping I felt a foot or a hand come right through and hit my hand off of my stomach. It’s really startling and most of the time cool, but sometimes it almost makes me not feel well because she’s just so active. Jeff’s able to feel her more now since the movement is so much stronger and it happens more frequently. This week she’s been kicking a lot near my right rib cage and she hasn’t quite hit bone yet, so I’m thankful for that. I do feel her in different places all day long, so I’m convinced she’s doing summersaults and having an absolute party in there. I have no idea how they move around so much and don’t get the umbilical cord wrapped around their neck!
I’m really showing now. The upper part of my stomach has really popped making my shape a lot more round and making it easier for people to tell that I’m pregnant and not just fat. I bought a few dresses last weekend and the shape of the dress really shows off my belly. I must say the best thing about being pregnant is that you don’t have to suck it in on days when you’re bloated. You can let it pop out for all to see and it doesn’t matter because you’re pregnant! I used to hate those days where I was so bloated I had to suck it in so no one could see my flab. Not any more! At least not for another few months!
So I think I’ve finally figured out my maternity leave. The company will give me 6 weeks of paid time off (combined with CA state disability). After that I’ll deplete my sick and vacation time (which should be around 4 weeks total) giving me the 2.5 months off that I wanted. If I need any more time, I can take it off unpaid. Not only do I NOT want unpaid time, but I do need to be back here for the end of the year/quarter. I took this job and have to pay my dues working on New Year’s Eve to close everything out. The only way I’d take it unpaid is if the doc pulls me out of work before my due date. I want anywhere from 8-10 weeks with the baby before I go back to work, so I guess I’ll have to cross that bridge when I come to it. Let me tell you, America does not make it easy for women to have children and be a career woman at the same time. Everyone says “yeah but we have FMLA” – FMLA is great – if you worry about your job protection – but it does nothing as far as paying you for time off. Yeah we’ll give you 3 months of UNPAID leave, no problem! It kills me how in other modern countries women get anywhere from 6 months to a year off – paid. I won’t whine about that anymore, but let’s just say that being a working mom is not easy from the get-go.
We got our first baby registry gift! Crazy considering I think only close friends and family knew we registered. It’s so cute – a 3 stage bathtub with a rainforest theme. From a co-worker in Ohio who just had twins a year ago. It surprised me when we pulled up to the house and there was this big Target box sitting on our door step and we’re like “what’s that?” Totally forgot we’re registered. So it was a nice surprise. Belle wasn’t too sure what the bathtub was, haha!
Speaking of Belle…with her being so sick for the past 2 weeks and work being so crazy I haven’t really had time to focus on anything else. I did pick up some green and pink paint chips and once the sun comes out (one of these days) I’m going to take them up to the nursery and sit with them in the natural light and pick what I want. I can’t wait to clean out that room and get it ready for the baby! It’s going to be such a great feeling to donate everything and start personalizing it for her! I think having the nursery done will make it more real. I’m hoping we’ll have it done by mid-July, but we’ll see.
Sounds like my shower invites will be going out soon…? That’s exciting. I can’t wait to see everyone! Almost everyone has been so supportive through this whole process and its crazy how when life changes, you really know who your true family and friends are. I feel like I could learn so much from my friends and family about being a great person. I’ve had so many people tell me that they would drop their lives to come stay and help with the baby if I needed them. I’ve never in my life felt so touched and felt so loved. And if it weren’t for my parents sometimes I would completely think everything is hopeless. Without them I don’t think we could have even had a baby because we wouldn’t have been able to afford it. Talk about another issue with America – the cost of good quality child care! You know the kind where your kid doesn’t get beat up and you can actually trust someone with your child.
This weekend I’m collecting my 24 hour urine sample and preparing for my glucose test. Good times! This morning I was thinking about it and wondering how I’ll manage to make it downstairs in the middle of the night to pull my urine jug out of the fridge, to go pee, then to put it back in and go back upstairs and be able to actually fall back asleep. Awesome.
And so begins my 26th week…
Friday, June 12, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
24 weeks
I can't believe it's 6 months! Wasn't it just January when I was holding my positive pregnancy pee stick?My belly is starting to lead the way...it's nearly impossible to get up and off the floor without assistance from nearby furniture or other people. It's not easy to get out of bed or off the couch, but it's much easier than the floor. I look in the mirror daily and can't believe how huge my stomach is. Ugh. Although it's odd because quite often people tell me I don't look 6 months pregnant. For me I feel like I'm huge, but I guess not to other people. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday so we'll see how much weight I've gained. Ummph.
My hunger level is the same. I've been walking laps around the building at work on my lunch break 2 - 3 days a week. I've been drinking Smart Water so I can stay hydrated. And I've been eating much healthier. Hopefully the doc notices how hard I'm working because I could really go for a Dairy Queen Blizzard with Reese's Peanut Butter cups right now!
My stress level has been high. Work is just insanity...I'm now doing the equivalent to two jobs (when I was hired the upper level stuff was supposed to stay with my boss, but now he's covering for another department while their manager is on a project), so I'm swamped with work, responsibility and expectations. There's good days, but there's really bad days too. With us being thinned on employees they're pretty worried about what to do when I'm out on maternity leave. I'm not taking as much time as I could because I know they need me and I have this expectation to live up to. I think for the first time on Friday I actually felt really appreciated like I was making a difference, so that makes me feel better.
Jeff felt the baby kick for the first time this past week. Since she always sits breech, he hardly ever gets the opportunity, but every once in a while she turns a bit so you can feel her. It's hard to gauge how active she is because of where she's sitting. It worries me some days because I don't know when I'm suppose to start feeling her every ten minutes or whatever it is that they say.
Someone asked me while I was on vacation what my "birth plan" was and they were highly offended when I told them "to go to the hospital." I mean, do I really need a birth plan? All I want is drugs. I don't have any special blankets or pillows or food I have to have with me and knowing Kaiser they'd screw it up anyways. I dunno, maybe I'm weird, maybe I'm not prepared, I have no idea. I just want a healthy baby and I want to be healthy too.
Registering was interesting. It was fun, but it was insanely overwhelming. I have no idea if I over-registered for some things and under-registered for others. I knew we had to have a lot of stuff, but to see it all on paper like that freaks me out. 95% of it is stuff we NEED (not just want because it's cute) and we don't expect everyone to buy it all for us, so I'm trying to budget and figure out how much it will cost us to pick up everything on the registry we don't get. How overwhelming! Did get our bedding set though! Which is great because now we can pick out a crib, glider and pick out paint colors. The room will either be a pale pink or a pale mint green (colors in the bedding). I just haven't decided yet. I picked up some paint chips today and I need to take them with the bedding up into the room and look at them in the natural light.
Well that's it for now. Hopefully my checkup goes well on Monday and I'll have nothing interesting to blog about. :-)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
22 weeks, 5 days…
What a crazy two weeks! It’s been a good two weeks though. My parents came to visit over Mother’s Day and the baby got LOTS of clothes from her Grandma and Grandpa. There’s so many things hanging in her closet that at this point, she has a bigger wardrobe than I do! I got a few mother-to-be Mother’s Day cards which was really sweet and made me feel good.
The baby also took her first trip on a plane when we flew up to Seattle for one last vacation before the insanity of parenthood starts. The trip went well. I don’t think I could have handled flying a lot further or traveling during our stay a lot more. It was just the right amount of walking, sleeping, eating, etc. Well I could have done less eating, but what else can I say about that? It was a nice getaway before she is born and we had a fun time.
My 20 week appointment went okay. I gained nearly 11 pounds in 1 month which was horrible for me to digest. Guess those little splurges added up after all, huh? I had a hard time eating well over vacation and felt horrible about it after I digested the yummy goodness of food in the Pacific Northwest, but I’m back on the pregnancy “diet” of fruits, veggies, healthy dinners and low fat sweets. In fact as I type this now I eat my cottage cheese/tomato/cucumber salad and fat free chips with water. Anyways, I hadn’t drank enough water before my last appointment either, so they chastised me for that. However, the good news is, is that my AFP screenings all came back negative. The NP also went over the results of my big ultra sound. Half of her is measuring for a due date of 9/18 and the other half at 9/20. So they’re keeping me at 9/18. Her feet are HUGE. 2 weeks ago they were 1.5 inches long, so who knows what they are now that she weighs over a pound. So she has long legs and big feet according to the docs. She’s still sitting breeched, but that’s okay for now because she’ll probably turn later in the pregnancy. Though I tell you, those big foot kicks to my crotch and bladder are NO FUN. I’m ready for her to turn and start kicking other things. Jeff still hasn’t been able to feel her because she’s breeched, so her feet hang down so low that it’s hard to have someone feel it.
I have noticed my tummy getting harder – mainly above my belly button – but overall harder depending on the day. What a weird feeling! My weight is also shifting to my thighs, so I can’t fit in a lot of pants I try on because they won’t go over my thighs. Surprise, surprise, that’s typical for me! My face is also getting rounder, which is harder to hide from others. After losing so much weight a few years ago, I tell you this mentally makes me feel like I’m ugly and fat and my self confidence is WAY low. I wish I could just be okay with it, but it’s hard.
We’re going to register this weekend! Exciting, but I know it will be tiring. I still haven’t made a decision on the bedding. The pattern I like is online only so I have to pay an extra $50 for shipping and then if I don’t like it I have to ship it back. Guess I should start focusing on the bedding I want since the entire nursery theme goes around that and I want to work on the nursery in June.
Well that’s about it…going to take a quick stroll on my break…
The baby also took her first trip on a plane when we flew up to Seattle for one last vacation before the insanity of parenthood starts. The trip went well. I don’t think I could have handled flying a lot further or traveling during our stay a lot more. It was just the right amount of walking, sleeping, eating, etc. Well I could have done less eating, but what else can I say about that? It was a nice getaway before she is born and we had a fun time.
My 20 week appointment went okay. I gained nearly 11 pounds in 1 month which was horrible for me to digest. Guess those little splurges added up after all, huh? I had a hard time eating well over vacation and felt horrible about it after I digested the yummy goodness of food in the Pacific Northwest, but I’m back on the pregnancy “diet” of fruits, veggies, healthy dinners and low fat sweets. In fact as I type this now I eat my cottage cheese/tomato/cucumber salad and fat free chips with water. Anyways, I hadn’t drank enough water before my last appointment either, so they chastised me for that. However, the good news is, is that my AFP screenings all came back negative. The NP also went over the results of my big ultra sound. Half of her is measuring for a due date of 9/18 and the other half at 9/20. So they’re keeping me at 9/18. Her feet are HUGE. 2 weeks ago they were 1.5 inches long, so who knows what they are now that she weighs over a pound. So she has long legs and big feet according to the docs. She’s still sitting breeched, but that’s okay for now because she’ll probably turn later in the pregnancy. Though I tell you, those big foot kicks to my crotch and bladder are NO FUN. I’m ready for her to turn and start kicking other things. Jeff still hasn’t been able to feel her because she’s breeched, so her feet hang down so low that it’s hard to have someone feel it.
I have noticed my tummy getting harder – mainly above my belly button – but overall harder depending on the day. What a weird feeling! My weight is also shifting to my thighs, so I can’t fit in a lot of pants I try on because they won’t go over my thighs. Surprise, surprise, that’s typical for me! My face is also getting rounder, which is harder to hide from others. After losing so much weight a few years ago, I tell you this mentally makes me feel like I’m ugly and fat and my self confidence is WAY low. I wish I could just be okay with it, but it’s hard.
We’re going to register this weekend! Exciting, but I know it will be tiring. I still haven’t made a decision on the bedding. The pattern I like is online only so I have to pay an extra $50 for shipping and then if I don’t like it I have to ship it back. Guess I should start focusing on the bedding I want since the entire nursery theme goes around that and I want to work on the nursery in June.
Well that’s about it…going to take a quick stroll on my break…
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
20 weeks, 4 days...it's a Girl!
Yesterday was the big 20 week ultra sound! After five or so minutes of measuring and clicking the tech had Jeff come in the room so we could get a good look at the little bean. It's a girl! I didn't believe the tech at first and made her look between the legs at least 3 times to confirm. The lady seemed to know what she was doing though and I'm sure was horribly annoyed by my questioning. She said she's "perfect" and growing great. She's right on schedule for mid-September and already has long legs. The pictures of her spine were sent up to the doctor for analysis, so hopefully we'll get those results on Friday at my routine checkup. Still no word on the AFP screening - it's been 4 weeks and I have no idea if they're just slow or if that's good or bad news.
The past week and a half has been interesting. She sits pretty low most of the time, sometimes making it hard to stand after sitting or sleeping. Sometimes it's hard to stand up after peeing, my sides cramp up so tight that I can't stand straight. I'm also feeling lots of kicks really low on my cervix. It's such a bizarre feeling and startles me, especially if I'm at work.
It's been harder to be good about eating. I must have ate a pound of potato salad and 20 cookies over this past weekend! I crave a lot more soda that I used to which isn't so good for me. But no new cravings to report.
I finally took out my belly button ring - it's still weird seeing myself without it. But for some reason (to me) it makes me feel and look more pregnant. I'm still carrying in the front and really low (hence why everyone thought it was a boy) which is fine with me. When it starts spreading that means I've gained too much weight!
Lots of maternity clothes and baby shopping coming up this weekend. My parents are coming for Mother's Day and are just thrilled with the news of it being a girl.
Work is insanely busy, which is why it's been so long since my last post. Next week we leave for vacation in Seattle, so it'll be interesting experiencing traveling while pregnant!
That's it for now!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
18 weeks, 5 days...
I’ve been using the Pre-natal education system and the baby seems to be responding to that great. I usually get lots of fluttering and movement which makes me happy. I keep thinking that maybe as early as in the womb I can put this baby on a “stay awake during the day / sleep at night” schedule since they’re typically nocturnal when they’re born. Probably so not true, but it’s worth a shot haha! The system is supposed to make them more lucid and relaxed yet more awake and aware after delivery. It’s also supposed to make them a calmer baby, one that sleeps better and is more relaxed. It also is supposed to give them educational benefits later in life. But, as mentioned, it’s “supposed” to do these things, so we’ll see.
Last night I was lying on my side watching TV and rubbing the left side of my stomach. All of a sudden I could actually feel fluttering against my fingertips (instead of just internal). So I decided to just poke the area and see what would happen. Within seconds I suddenly felt it kick me or hit me back, right against my hand. It startled me because I wasn’t expecting a response and I got one! It’s one of the most exciting things that’s happened so far!
I’ve also noticed that I can tell where the baby is sitting. So if I’m lying or sitting in one position for a long period of time and stand up, I feel (internally, not externally) like there’s a hardness on the left or right side of my tummy. When I start walking it seems to go away. I think it settles in somewhere when I’m at rest and then shifts when I get up again. Again, I could totally be imaging things, but I’ve never in my life felt it before. I was also a little achy when I woke up this morning. The best way to describe it is that my uterus hurt. I guess that can be attributed to all of the stretching and growing and it went away after I got in the shower and woke up a little. But it didn’t feel too good!
I’m definitely going to gain more weight this month! This past week I haven’t done so bad, but this has been my worst month for eating things I probably shouldn’t. Had a huge steak dinner with all sorts of stuff last Friday night. Today I’m giving into my Togos craving and getting an egg salad sandwich. I guess it could be worse, I could crave something fried and horrible for me every single day. But I’m really trying to only gain within my guidelines so I don’t have as much to lose after. Plus so far I’m just carrying it all in my front, so I’d like to keep it that way as long as possible!
With the weather heating up to 97 degrees on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, I definitely got a taste for what it will be like to be pregnant during those hot summer months. It wasn’t good, haha, especially when trying to sleep at night. We went and bought two new floor fans, so we’ve been running the A/C, two floor fans, a small desktop fan, and a ceiling fan during the night. I’m starting to feel the weight on my stomach pull on my back now when I lay on my side. So I try and slide my pillow under my belly as much as possible, and my belly is getting bigger, but not big enough to sit by itself on a pillow all night. Having the body pillow between my legs feels good on my back and definitely takes some of the pressure off though. I just haven’t mastered 8 hours with the body pillow, warm weather, and a hubby and cat in bed with me.
Not having a good reaction to coffee right now. It seems to make me feel like I’m going to throw up shortly after I finish my cup. The nauseated feeling lingers for about an hour or so. It feels so bad I’ve almost gone home a few times. It’s really weird and the only thing that makes sense is that it’s the acid levels in the coffee that make me feel that way. So needless to say, I’ll be steering clear of my decaf lattes for a while.
I’m obsessed with diet caffeine free Dr. Pepper right now. Moved from Root Beer to Dr. Pepper – really weird. I never crave soda when I’m not pregnant and now I seem to more. I try and keep it to no more than 2 a week though.
Well I think that sums up week 18 pretty well. Lots of exciting changes!
Last night I was lying on my side watching TV and rubbing the left side of my stomach. All of a sudden I could actually feel fluttering against my fingertips (instead of just internal). So I decided to just poke the area and see what would happen. Within seconds I suddenly felt it kick me or hit me back, right against my hand. It startled me because I wasn’t expecting a response and I got one! It’s one of the most exciting things that’s happened so far!
I’ve also noticed that I can tell where the baby is sitting. So if I’m lying or sitting in one position for a long period of time and stand up, I feel (internally, not externally) like there’s a hardness on the left or right side of my tummy. When I start walking it seems to go away. I think it settles in somewhere when I’m at rest and then shifts when I get up again. Again, I could totally be imaging things, but I’ve never in my life felt it before. I was also a little achy when I woke up this morning. The best way to describe it is that my uterus hurt. I guess that can be attributed to all of the stretching and growing and it went away after I got in the shower and woke up a little. But it didn’t feel too good!
I’m definitely going to gain more weight this month! This past week I haven’t done so bad, but this has been my worst month for eating things I probably shouldn’t. Had a huge steak dinner with all sorts of stuff last Friday night. Today I’m giving into my Togos craving and getting an egg salad sandwich. I guess it could be worse, I could crave something fried and horrible for me every single day. But I’m really trying to only gain within my guidelines so I don’t have as much to lose after. Plus so far I’m just carrying it all in my front, so I’d like to keep it that way as long as possible!
With the weather heating up to 97 degrees on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, I definitely got a taste for what it will be like to be pregnant during those hot summer months. It wasn’t good, haha, especially when trying to sleep at night. We went and bought two new floor fans, so we’ve been running the A/C, two floor fans, a small desktop fan, and a ceiling fan during the night. I’m starting to feel the weight on my stomach pull on my back now when I lay on my side. So I try and slide my pillow under my belly as much as possible, and my belly is getting bigger, but not big enough to sit by itself on a pillow all night. Having the body pillow between my legs feels good on my back and definitely takes some of the pressure off though. I just haven’t mastered 8 hours with the body pillow, warm weather, and a hubby and cat in bed with me.
Not having a good reaction to coffee right now. It seems to make me feel like I’m going to throw up shortly after I finish my cup. The nauseated feeling lingers for about an hour or so. It feels so bad I’ve almost gone home a few times. It’s really weird and the only thing that makes sense is that it’s the acid levels in the coffee that make me feel that way. So needless to say, I’ll be steering clear of my decaf lattes for a while.
I’m obsessed with diet caffeine free Dr. Pepper right now. Moved from Root Beer to Dr. Pepper – really weird. I never crave soda when I’m not pregnant and now I seem to more. I try and keep it to no more than 2 a week though.
Well I think that sums up week 18 pretty well. Lots of exciting changes!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
17 weeks, 4 days...
This week I’ve really felt the emotional ups and downs. I can attribute that to my stressful and hectic job, I mean who in their right mind supervises 11-12 people (women) willingly? Someone who’s insane like me is who! On top of the surmounting pressure of trying to supervise all of these people, I have an insane amount of pressure to succeed, re-shape and improve this entire department. All of it, somewhat on my own with a sales guy for a director. I seriously cannot believe how many nights I toss and turn just dreaming about work. Why aren’t I a normal person who starts off supervising 1 or 2 people? What the hell was I thinking doing all of this while pregnant! Well, I know what I was thinking, I was thinking about the 5k increase to my salary that would help raise this child and the opportunity that could boost me into management in only 2-3 years. Yes, these are all awesome things, but dealing with all of this, while being pregnant is definitely not the best time of my life. My memory is so bad right now that it’s completely affecting me learning a new job. And believe me, if you use the wrong term or say the wrong thing, your employees will be the first to call you out on it. No, I am not a dumbass, I’m just pregnant, thank you. Oh and the confidence part is killing me. My boss tells me to have confidence when I speak with the director and the direct-reports, but it’s really hard to portray that when you have no idea what the hell you’re doing or talking about sometimes.
It’s also difficult to change the ways of 12 people who have been allowed to behave, work, act, talk, write pretty much any way they want over the course of the past few years. My biggest challenge is to motivate them to be the best that they can be, even if they have no aspirations of moving up in the company. How do you motivate someone to do their best if they don’t care if they do this job forever? How do you tell someone in their twenties that their grammar sucks in emails and they need to fix it so upper management doesn’t think we, as a department, are stupid? How do you get someone to treat you with respect and like you’re a supervisor? These, among millions of others, are my daily challenges, along with bosses and bosses-bosses, and bosses-bosses-bosses and being pregnant. When I don’t sleep well and I don’t feel well the last thing I want to deal with is all of this.
Home life is stressful too. There’s never enough hours in the weekend to clean the house (I can’t believe I want a bigger house in a couple of years, because without kids I can’t even maintain the one I have), to do laundry, to rest, to get outside and get some fresh air, to run millions of errands. And I don’t think my wonderful husband has quite caught onto the “I have to ask you to do it” vs “How can I help you out with that” technique. I’m concerned that when I’m 9 months pregnant I’m still going to have to ask for help cleaning or doing laundry instead of it just getting it done. Last time I checked no one asks me to do things, I just get up and do them. So I hope that currently he just feels like I’m still feeling well enough and mobile enough to continue these tasks on my own for now and that once I’m feeling like absolute crap, he’ll actually just do things without me asking. I also feel like a bump on a log. Last night I was so upset from work and so stressed out, what I would have done to just have a glass of wine so I could wind down, but I couldn’t, so I just laid down and watched TV. What a great wife I am these days…
Tummy is still growing. My round ligament pain is still pretty bad on my left side, but luckily I don’t get it daily. It’s just when I get it, I can barely walk until it calms down. Friday I turn 18 weeks so I’m going to start using that Prenatal Education System. It’s so loud, I have no idea how I’m going to use it at work once a day. I noticed a pillow masks the sound pretty well, so hopefully the two girls on either side of me won’t be able to really hear it. But since I have to do it twice daily, I have to use it once at work and once at home. Hopefully I can stick to it. Twice daily is a lot for someone on the run all of the time like me. And like I said, it’s really loud, so it’s not inconspicuous or anything haha.
I have these moments, mainly at night when I’m resting, where I just panic at the thought of this baby. Like I said above, I’m on the go so much and I’m so used to it. I wake up when I want to (kinda), I go to run errands, go to work, go to the movies, go on vacation, everything when I want to. It’s going to be so different having to schedule everything out a bit more and to “prepare” for outings and also think about if we can go to a place we want to go to. Obviously the movies will be a huge issue, we’ll need a babysitter, which we obviously don’t have haha. One of us will probably stay home for some errands to make it easier. I know that it’s like a switch that gets flipped once you have that baby in your arms, and you just suddenly have different priorities and things of importance, but I won’t lie and say it’s not a little scary. It’s even scarier since we’ll have no help. I was thinking that this will be my first birthday since I was a kid where I won’t get to celebrate with even a dinner. That’s fine, but just weird. I suppose that there’s a never ending list of things to be scared of, I mean you’re caring for another life, and I’m assuming it’s normal to be scared. I hope, lol.
Well I should get back to work. So far it’s a better day, but things didn’t get insane until this time yesterday, so we’ll see. I could use a quiet rest of the week.
It’s also difficult to change the ways of 12 people who have been allowed to behave, work, act, talk, write pretty much any way they want over the course of the past few years. My biggest challenge is to motivate them to be the best that they can be, even if they have no aspirations of moving up in the company. How do you motivate someone to do their best if they don’t care if they do this job forever? How do you tell someone in their twenties that their grammar sucks in emails and they need to fix it so upper management doesn’t think we, as a department, are stupid? How do you get someone to treat you with respect and like you’re a supervisor? These, among millions of others, are my daily challenges, along with bosses and bosses-bosses, and bosses-bosses-bosses and being pregnant. When I don’t sleep well and I don’t feel well the last thing I want to deal with is all of this.
Home life is stressful too. There’s never enough hours in the weekend to clean the house (I can’t believe I want a bigger house in a couple of years, because without kids I can’t even maintain the one I have), to do laundry, to rest, to get outside and get some fresh air, to run millions of errands. And I don’t think my wonderful husband has quite caught onto the “I have to ask you to do it” vs “How can I help you out with that” technique. I’m concerned that when I’m 9 months pregnant I’m still going to have to ask for help cleaning or doing laundry instead of it just getting it done. Last time I checked no one asks me to do things, I just get up and do them. So I hope that currently he just feels like I’m still feeling well enough and mobile enough to continue these tasks on my own for now and that once I’m feeling like absolute crap, he’ll actually just do things without me asking. I also feel like a bump on a log. Last night I was so upset from work and so stressed out, what I would have done to just have a glass of wine so I could wind down, but I couldn’t, so I just laid down and watched TV. What a great wife I am these days…
Tummy is still growing. My round ligament pain is still pretty bad on my left side, but luckily I don’t get it daily. It’s just when I get it, I can barely walk until it calms down. Friday I turn 18 weeks so I’m going to start using that Prenatal Education System. It’s so loud, I have no idea how I’m going to use it at work once a day. I noticed a pillow masks the sound pretty well, so hopefully the two girls on either side of me won’t be able to really hear it. But since I have to do it twice daily, I have to use it once at work and once at home. Hopefully I can stick to it. Twice daily is a lot for someone on the run all of the time like me. And like I said, it’s really loud, so it’s not inconspicuous or anything haha.
I have these moments, mainly at night when I’m resting, where I just panic at the thought of this baby. Like I said above, I’m on the go so much and I’m so used to it. I wake up when I want to (kinda), I go to run errands, go to work, go to the movies, go on vacation, everything when I want to. It’s going to be so different having to schedule everything out a bit more and to “prepare” for outings and also think about if we can go to a place we want to go to. Obviously the movies will be a huge issue, we’ll need a babysitter, which we obviously don’t have haha. One of us will probably stay home for some errands to make it easier. I know that it’s like a switch that gets flipped once you have that baby in your arms, and you just suddenly have different priorities and things of importance, but I won’t lie and say it’s not a little scary. It’s even scarier since we’ll have no help. I was thinking that this will be my first birthday since I was a kid where I won’t get to celebrate with even a dinner. That’s fine, but just weird. I suppose that there’s a never ending list of things to be scared of, I mean you’re caring for another life, and I’m assuming it’s normal to be scared. I hope, lol.
Well I should get back to work. So far it’s a better day, but things didn’t get insane until this time yesterday, so we’ll see. I could use a quiet rest of the week.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
16 weeks, 4 days...
Had my 16 week appointment yesterday and all is going very well. My BP was 127/69, a little high on the top number, but that’s because it’s been hell at work for a week. Yesterday was a stressful day, so I just knew my BP would be up a little. I only gained 2 pounds! So that’s only 3 total the whole pregnancy and the Nurse Practitioner who saw me was very pleased. I’m pleased with myself! Look out cheeseburger, we have a date on Saturday! They didn’t say anything about my urine test for protein, so I’m guessing it was okay.
We were hoping to find out the sex of the baby yesterday, but it didn’t work out. At first she was just going to listen to the heartbeat, but she couldn’t get it on the ancient Doppler device they were using, so she had to do an ultrasound. Baby was lying on its tummy curled up in the fetal position. At first he/she had its head down looking down at my uterus, but then turned to look right at us. We saw the spine and ribs which was really crazy and then also saw the little heartbeat going like crazy. Crown to rump the baby is 4 inches and she said the legs should be another 3 (but I don’t think she knew what she was talking about, they’re probably more like an inch or so). Saw a foot waving around, but we couldn’t get it to move to see the gender. C’est la vie, guess we’re waiting until May 4th! Oh well it’ll save me another month of going on a shopping spree for clothes and accessories haha.
Had my blood drawn for Second Trimester Testing. Not sure how long it will be before I get the results. I’m assuming if something’s wrong they’ll call right away, if not then I’ll probably get a letter like I did the first trimester. Hopefully we’ll get that within 10 days so I’m not so nervous.
I’m doing a lot better this week. I’ve been getting a lot more sleep and I only get up 2, maybe 3 times a night to use the restroom. I am now hooked on pickles though!! I knew it was coming because I love them anyways, and now it’s arrived. I went through a whole jar in 3 days. Luckily I have a backup jar that will get me through the weekend lol. No new cravings though the stuff I really love I just want more and more of. I’m actually going for a smoothie at lunch today (yay for Acai Berry!) and what I wouldn’t do right now to have a big fat cheeseburger and fries. But I was a fry-lover way before my pregnancy; I just seem to think about them more now.
The baby is still fluttering around like crazy. Although the Nurse Practitioner did not believe me when I told her I could feel it. She looked at me like “this girl’s crazy, it’s probably gas.” But all of the reading I did on “quickening” it sounds like I’m feeling it! And other people who are as far along as me feel the same thing, so whatever! It no longer freaks me out feeling it like “something’s wrong” – it now makes me feel reassured that everything is right. It’s made it a little more real and now I’m starting to dream and think more about when we actually have the baby and bring it home. Jeff and I talk about things like signing him/her up for a Gymboree class or a play group, going to the park and having lunches a few times a week, family vacations we’ll be able to take in another year, etc. This whole new world has opened up and I feel like I can see beyond the pregnancy. It makes me think a lot about my childhood and our trips to the beach, going hunting for Easter eggs, playing in the backyard and running around in the sprinklers. All of those things I miss so much and long to have back, I will be able to re-live through my child.
I really don’t know what I would do without my friends and my parents at this point. Everyone is so great and so excited for us and it’s just amazing. There are some family members that we wish were more excited, more involved, or actually would stay in touch, and that’s really disappointing, but it is what it is. It’s so nice to know that my closest friends are just like aunts and uncles to our unborn baby. That’s priceless and means the world to us and we appreciate every one of you!
That’s about it for this week. Every week when the baby has baked another 7 days and I feel pretty good is a fantastic week for me!
We were hoping to find out the sex of the baby yesterday, but it didn’t work out. At first she was just going to listen to the heartbeat, but she couldn’t get it on the ancient Doppler device they were using, so she had to do an ultrasound. Baby was lying on its tummy curled up in the fetal position. At first he/she had its head down looking down at my uterus, but then turned to look right at us. We saw the spine and ribs which was really crazy and then also saw the little heartbeat going like crazy. Crown to rump the baby is 4 inches and she said the legs should be another 3 (but I don’t think she knew what she was talking about, they’re probably more like an inch or so). Saw a foot waving around, but we couldn’t get it to move to see the gender. C’est la vie, guess we’re waiting until May 4th! Oh well it’ll save me another month of going on a shopping spree for clothes and accessories haha.
Had my blood drawn for Second Trimester Testing. Not sure how long it will be before I get the results. I’m assuming if something’s wrong they’ll call right away, if not then I’ll probably get a letter like I did the first trimester. Hopefully we’ll get that within 10 days so I’m not so nervous.
I’m doing a lot better this week. I’ve been getting a lot more sleep and I only get up 2, maybe 3 times a night to use the restroom. I am now hooked on pickles though!! I knew it was coming because I love them anyways, and now it’s arrived. I went through a whole jar in 3 days. Luckily I have a backup jar that will get me through the weekend lol. No new cravings though the stuff I really love I just want more and more of. I’m actually going for a smoothie at lunch today (yay for Acai Berry!) and what I wouldn’t do right now to have a big fat cheeseburger and fries. But I was a fry-lover way before my pregnancy; I just seem to think about them more now.
The baby is still fluttering around like crazy. Although the Nurse Practitioner did not believe me when I told her I could feel it. She looked at me like “this girl’s crazy, it’s probably gas.” But all of the reading I did on “quickening” it sounds like I’m feeling it! And other people who are as far along as me feel the same thing, so whatever! It no longer freaks me out feeling it like “something’s wrong” – it now makes me feel reassured that everything is right. It’s made it a little more real and now I’m starting to dream and think more about when we actually have the baby and bring it home. Jeff and I talk about things like signing him/her up for a Gymboree class or a play group, going to the park and having lunches a few times a week, family vacations we’ll be able to take in another year, etc. This whole new world has opened up and I feel like I can see beyond the pregnancy. It makes me think a lot about my childhood and our trips to the beach, going hunting for Easter eggs, playing in the backyard and running around in the sprinklers. All of those things I miss so much and long to have back, I will be able to re-live through my child.
I really don’t know what I would do without my friends and my parents at this point. Everyone is so great and so excited for us and it’s just amazing. There are some family members that we wish were more excited, more involved, or actually would stay in touch, and that’s really disappointing, but it is what it is. It’s so nice to know that my closest friends are just like aunts and uncles to our unborn baby. That’s priceless and means the world to us and we appreciate every one of you!
That’s about it for this week. Every week when the baby has baked another 7 days and I feel pretty good is a fantastic week for me!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
15 weeks, 4 days...
Yes, it’s been a busy week. I think I’d classify last night as my worst “pregnancy night” since I’ve been pregnant. (And yes I know there’s many, many more to come.) Of course it had to be my worst night leading up to month and quarter end when I’m required to work a 12+ hour day. I’ve been noticing that since Friday night I’ve been sleeping really light, like little noises wake me up and I’m just not in a deep sleep. Last night I was so exhausted I got into bed at 7:40. I couldn’t get comfortable and I was tossing and turning and couldn’t sleep. I also notice now that I get a slight fluttering in my belly, mainly when I’m lying down. I think it’s the baby moving. So the fluttering and not being able to get comfortable just contributed to my insomnia. I think I fell asleep a little before 9:30 and then woke up at 11 because I realized Jeff wasn’t in our room and I was worried he hadn’t made it home okay from Softball. So I got up, went pee, looked for him and he was home, so relieved I laid back down. Another hour of tossing, turning and fluttering happened before I finally fell asleep. Within 5 minutes of falling asleep Jeff came up the stairs to go to bed and woke me up. So I laid there again until 12:30 and finally exhausted and frustrated, I finally just broke down into tears. It’s so hard being so insanely tired but not being able to sleep. So Jeff told me he’d sleep downstairs and I went back up and tried to fall back to sleep again. I think I fell asleep just after 1 when Belle woke me up at 2:30. She was walking all over me, meowing, wandering around aimlessly and getting into things. So at 3 I fell back to sleep again, only to wake up at around 5:15. From there I was only able to dose in and out until the alarm went off. I have a pretty bad headache right now, mainly because I’m tired and I’m sure the lighting in this dreary place doesn’t help.
The fluttering. It started a couple of days ago. “Fluttering” is the best way to describe it because it’s like a spasm, but not so severe. Sometimes I also feel a hard spot or pressure on a specific side or low in my stomach when I stand up from sitting to long. I’m guessing that’s the baby? The fluttering seems to be the worst when I’m lying down. It doesn’t really seem to happen at work or when I’m standing. It’s a really, really bizarre feeling. It sometimes scares me and I panic like something might be wrong. I think I watch too many of those medical shows and I’m becoming super paranoid. You spend your entire first trimester hoping you don’t miscarry and then of course you still worry about that in your second, but now you start thinking about “is my baby going to be born healthy?” or “is my baby going to be born premature?” and all sorts of other questions. I try not to think about it because all it can do is drive you insane and make you think that every flutter is something bad.
My belly is weird. Some days it feels harder and some days it just feels like flab. I totally don’t get that. When does it harden completely so I can stop looking fat and start looking pregnant?
Looking at the registry list is completely overwhelming. Our house seemed so big to us at one time and as we look at baby stuff it all seems to be closing in fast. A bouncer, pack n play, activity mat, swing, jumper…where will all of this go in my tiny family room? Oh and a high chair! It’s going to completely take over our downstairs! It’s all so insane – I think the baby market does just as good in this economy as the wedding market. There’s plenty of crap you probably don’t need, but you buy anyways! At least I’m putting limited furniture in the nursery itself so some stuff can stay in there and just come downstairs as need be.
Breast feeding. So I’ve thought more about this recently and I think I’ve made a decision. So, if the baby takes to it and is being fed well I’ll probably do breast feeding for a couple of months and supplement with formula if our schedule doesn’t have time for pumping or feeding. I think I’ll wean the baby off of breast milk when it gets close to the time I’m going to go back to work and then I’ll put the baby on formula once I go back to work. I made this decision because I just don’t want to be pumping for 6 months to a year, twice a day (or more), at work. It’s way too awkward for me. I also made this decision because Jeff will be at home caring for the baby when I’m at work and it will just make it easier for him to feed the baby whenever and wherever. The WHEREVER thing is huge. Props to the women who are confident enough to whip it out in public and do their thing, but that’s not for me. Maybe I’ll feel different once the baby is here, but as of right now, I’m really about the grab and go convenience of formula. I don’t want to buy a bottle cooler and heater for my car, I don’t want to have to nurse in public and I don’t want to have to pump at work. It’s fine while I’m at home on maternity leave, but after then, I’m switching 100% over to formula. I was reading that most of the formulas now have DHA in them which is excellent. A lot of breast feeding mothers can be quite harsh on non-breast feeding mothers (which I think is ridiculous – to each her own) about the breast being the best because of brain development (and all sorts of other things that are really not proven). By adding DHA into the formula it’s giving the child an extra developmental boost that’s excellent for brain and eye development. I have total confidence in formula and I’m not worried at all. I was a formula child, my nephews both are and all of us turned out great!
Well that’s my topics for now. I have a 12 - 13 hour day ahead of me so who knows what else may come!
The fluttering. It started a couple of days ago. “Fluttering” is the best way to describe it because it’s like a spasm, but not so severe. Sometimes I also feel a hard spot or pressure on a specific side or low in my stomach when I stand up from sitting to long. I’m guessing that’s the baby? The fluttering seems to be the worst when I’m lying down. It doesn’t really seem to happen at work or when I’m standing. It’s a really, really bizarre feeling. It sometimes scares me and I panic like something might be wrong. I think I watch too many of those medical shows and I’m becoming super paranoid. You spend your entire first trimester hoping you don’t miscarry and then of course you still worry about that in your second, but now you start thinking about “is my baby going to be born healthy?” or “is my baby going to be born premature?” and all sorts of other questions. I try not to think about it because all it can do is drive you insane and make you think that every flutter is something bad.
My belly is weird. Some days it feels harder and some days it just feels like flab. I totally don’t get that. When does it harden completely so I can stop looking fat and start looking pregnant?
Looking at the registry list is completely overwhelming. Our house seemed so big to us at one time and as we look at baby stuff it all seems to be closing in fast. A bouncer, pack n play, activity mat, swing, jumper…where will all of this go in my tiny family room? Oh and a high chair! It’s going to completely take over our downstairs! It’s all so insane – I think the baby market does just as good in this economy as the wedding market. There’s plenty of crap you probably don’t need, but you buy anyways! At least I’m putting limited furniture in the nursery itself so some stuff can stay in there and just come downstairs as need be.
Breast feeding. So I’ve thought more about this recently and I think I’ve made a decision. So, if the baby takes to it and is being fed well I’ll probably do breast feeding for a couple of months and supplement with formula if our schedule doesn’t have time for pumping or feeding. I think I’ll wean the baby off of breast milk when it gets close to the time I’m going to go back to work and then I’ll put the baby on formula once I go back to work. I made this decision because I just don’t want to be pumping for 6 months to a year, twice a day (or more), at work. It’s way too awkward for me. I also made this decision because Jeff will be at home caring for the baby when I’m at work and it will just make it easier for him to feed the baby whenever and wherever. The WHEREVER thing is huge. Props to the women who are confident enough to whip it out in public and do their thing, but that’s not for me. Maybe I’ll feel different once the baby is here, but as of right now, I’m really about the grab and go convenience of formula. I don’t want to buy a bottle cooler and heater for my car, I don’t want to have to nurse in public and I don’t want to have to pump at work. It’s fine while I’m at home on maternity leave, but after then, I’m switching 100% over to formula. I was reading that most of the formulas now have DHA in them which is excellent. A lot of breast feeding mothers can be quite harsh on non-breast feeding mothers (which I think is ridiculous – to each her own) about the breast being the best because of brain development (and all sorts of other things that are really not proven). By adding DHA into the formula it’s giving the child an extra developmental boost that’s excellent for brain and eye development. I have total confidence in formula and I’m not worried at all. I was a formula child, my nephews both are and all of us turned out great!
Well that’s my topics for now. I have a 12 - 13 hour day ahead of me so who knows what else may come!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
15 weeks, 2 days...
I'm wondering how often this feeling will come. It's probably pregnancy hormones, but I feel insanely sad today about being alone. Being alone meaning all of my close family and friends are not here. This came about as I tried on bras at the maternity store yesterday. There were loads of pregnant women in there with their moms and friends, all of them picking out clothes and helping them along, telling them what looks good, what looks bad, what's cute. I, on the other hand, had the store clerk helping me fit into the appropriate bra because I had no one else to give me advice. That was really hard and the first time this entire pregnancy I've actually realized that I don't really have anyone here besides Jeff to share the daily experiences with and of course since he's the dad, that's great, but there's some things that it's hard for him to get excited about and some things he just can't help out with, like bras, clothes, food cravings, the little minute details like bottles, baby wipes and formulas.
Today seems really hard. Jeff's gone golfing and I'd like nothing more but to see some friends or my mom, but instead I'm cleaning, doing the grocery shopping and making dinner. I think the nice weather also contributes to the need to just get out, even if it's just for lunch or to window shop.
I just wonder what it'll be like when we deliver the baby. I know Alicia and Jeff's mom will try and get down here, but if they can't, isn't it sad to think that no one will be in the waiting room for us?
I know this whole thing is ridiculous. Lisa delivered Aubrey in Idaho with no one but Philip and Laura and most of my friends don't have their moms nearby, so why am I making such a big deal?
I guess it's just a lot of first time changes and experiences that sometimes excite me and sometimes scare me. I can't share those all with Jeff because it's just not the same as a mom or a girlfriend. He doesn't really GET it and I'm not sure what I mean by that, but I'm sure most women know what I'm talking about.
On another brief note, I'm pretty convinced it's a boy. I don't know why, but I am. I looked at boy bedding and clothes yesterday at Babies R Us. They had a cute Classic Mickey pattern that I would love to use! I also think I finally found a pattern I like for the travel system, playard and swing. We'll probably start registering in either late April or May (depending on our schedules, we're pretty busy) and I sure hope the registry people have a good list for me to follow because I'm pretty clueless right now what I need! I did get a really good body pillow yesterday though. Cost me an arm and a leg though, it better last through a kid or two!
Well, I'm going to go cook some breakfast and pick up the kitchen and family room. Task 1 of the many I have ahead of me today. I actually feel better now...
Today seems really hard. Jeff's gone golfing and I'd like nothing more but to see some friends or my mom, but instead I'm cleaning, doing the grocery shopping and making dinner. I think the nice weather also contributes to the need to just get out, even if it's just for lunch or to window shop.
I just wonder what it'll be like when we deliver the baby. I know Alicia and Jeff's mom will try and get down here, but if they can't, isn't it sad to think that no one will be in the waiting room for us?
I know this whole thing is ridiculous. Lisa delivered Aubrey in Idaho with no one but Philip and Laura and most of my friends don't have their moms nearby, so why am I making such a big deal?
I guess it's just a lot of first time changes and experiences that sometimes excite me and sometimes scare me. I can't share those all with Jeff because it's just not the same as a mom or a girlfriend. He doesn't really GET it and I'm not sure what I mean by that, but I'm sure most women know what I'm talking about.
On another brief note, I'm pretty convinced it's a boy. I don't know why, but I am. I looked at boy bedding and clothes yesterday at Babies R Us. They had a cute Classic Mickey pattern that I would love to use! I also think I finally found a pattern I like for the travel system, playard and swing. We'll probably start registering in either late April or May (depending on our schedules, we're pretty busy) and I sure hope the registry people have a good list for me to follow because I'm pretty clueless right now what I need! I did get a really good body pillow yesterday though. Cost me an arm and a leg though, it better last through a kid or two!
Well, I'm going to go cook some breakfast and pick up the kitchen and family room. Task 1 of the many I have ahead of me today. I actually feel better now...
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