Yes, it’s been a busy week. I think I’d classify last night as my worst “pregnancy night” since I’ve been pregnant. (And yes I know there’s many, many more to come.) Of course it had to be my worst night leading up to month and quarter end when I’m required to work a 12+ hour day. I’ve been noticing that since Friday night I’ve been sleeping really light, like little noises wake me up and I’m just not in a deep sleep. Last night I was so exhausted I got into bed at 7:40. I couldn’t get comfortable and I was tossing and turning and couldn’t sleep. I also notice now that I get a slight fluttering in my belly, mainly when I’m lying down. I think it’s the baby moving. So the fluttering and not being able to get comfortable just contributed to my insomnia. I think I fell asleep a little before 9:30 and then woke up at 11 because I realized Jeff wasn’t in our room and I was worried he hadn’t made it home okay from Softball. So I got up, went pee, looked for him and he was home, so relieved I laid back down. Another hour of tossing, turning and fluttering happened before I finally fell asleep. Within 5 minutes of falling asleep Jeff came up the stairs to go to bed and woke me up. So I laid there again until 12:30 and finally exhausted and frustrated, I finally just broke down into tears. It’s so hard being so insanely tired but not being able to sleep. So Jeff told me he’d sleep downstairs and I went back up and tried to fall back to sleep again. I think I fell asleep just after 1 when Belle woke me up at 2:30. She was walking all over me, meowing, wandering around aimlessly and getting into things. So at 3 I fell back to sleep again, only to wake up at around 5:15. From there I was only able to dose in and out until the alarm went off. I have a pretty bad headache right now, mainly because I’m tired and I’m sure the lighting in this dreary place doesn’t help.
The fluttering. It started a couple of days ago. “Fluttering” is the best way to describe it because it’s like a spasm, but not so severe. Sometimes I also feel a hard spot or pressure on a specific side or low in my stomach when I stand up from sitting to long. I’m guessing that’s the baby? The fluttering seems to be the worst when I’m lying down. It doesn’t really seem to happen at work or when I’m standing. It’s a really, really bizarre feeling. It sometimes scares me and I panic like something might be wrong. I think I watch too many of those medical shows and I’m becoming super paranoid. You spend your entire first trimester hoping you don’t miscarry and then of course you still worry about that in your second, but now you start thinking about “is my baby going to be born healthy?” or “is my baby going to be born premature?” and all sorts of other questions. I try not to think about it because all it can do is drive you insane and make you think that every flutter is something bad.
My belly is weird. Some days it feels harder and some days it just feels like flab. I totally don’t get that. When does it harden completely so I can stop looking fat and start looking pregnant?
Looking at the registry list is completely overwhelming. Our house seemed so big to us at one time and as we look at baby stuff it all seems to be closing in fast. A bouncer, pack n play, activity mat, swing, jumper…where will all of this go in my tiny family room? Oh and a high chair! It’s going to completely take over our downstairs! It’s all so insane – I think the baby market does just as good in this economy as the wedding market. There’s plenty of crap you probably don’t need, but you buy anyways! At least I’m putting limited furniture in the nursery itself so some stuff can stay in there and just come downstairs as need be.
Breast feeding. So I’ve thought more about this recently and I think I’ve made a decision. So, if the baby takes to it and is being fed well I’ll probably do breast feeding for a couple of months and supplement with formula if our schedule doesn’t have time for pumping or feeding. I think I’ll wean the baby off of breast milk when it gets close to the time I’m going to go back to work and then I’ll put the baby on formula once I go back to work. I made this decision because I just don’t want to be pumping for 6 months to a year, twice a day (or more), at work. It’s way too awkward for me. I also made this decision because Jeff will be at home caring for the baby when I’m at work and it will just make it easier for him to feed the baby whenever and wherever. The WHEREVER thing is huge. Props to the women who are confident enough to whip it out in public and do their thing, but that’s not for me. Maybe I’ll feel different once the baby is here, but as of right now, I’m really about the grab and go convenience of formula. I don’t want to buy a bottle cooler and heater for my car, I don’t want to have to nurse in public and I don’t want to have to pump at work. It’s fine while I’m at home on maternity leave, but after then, I’m switching 100% over to formula. I was reading that most of the formulas now have DHA in them which is excellent. A lot of breast feeding mothers can be quite harsh on non-breast feeding mothers (which I think is ridiculous – to each her own) about the breast being the best because of brain development (and all sorts of other things that are really not proven). By adding DHA into the formula it’s giving the child an extra developmental boost that’s excellent for brain and eye development. I have total confidence in formula and I’m not worried at all. I was a formula child, my nephews both are and all of us turned out great!
Well that’s my topics for now. I have a 12 - 13 hour day ahead of me so who knows what else may come!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
15 weeks, 2 days...
I'm wondering how often this feeling will come. It's probably pregnancy hormones, but I feel insanely sad today about being alone. Being alone meaning all of my close family and friends are not here. This came about as I tried on bras at the maternity store yesterday. There were loads of pregnant women in there with their moms and friends, all of them picking out clothes and helping them along, telling them what looks good, what looks bad, what's cute. I, on the other hand, had the store clerk helping me fit into the appropriate bra because I had no one else to give me advice. That was really hard and the first time this entire pregnancy I've actually realized that I don't really have anyone here besides Jeff to share the daily experiences with and of course since he's the dad, that's great, but there's some things that it's hard for him to get excited about and some things he just can't help out with, like bras, clothes, food cravings, the little minute details like bottles, baby wipes and formulas.
Today seems really hard. Jeff's gone golfing and I'd like nothing more but to see some friends or my mom, but instead I'm cleaning, doing the grocery shopping and making dinner. I think the nice weather also contributes to the need to just get out, even if it's just for lunch or to window shop.
I just wonder what it'll be like when we deliver the baby. I know Alicia and Jeff's mom will try and get down here, but if they can't, isn't it sad to think that no one will be in the waiting room for us?
I know this whole thing is ridiculous. Lisa delivered Aubrey in Idaho with no one but Philip and Laura and most of my friends don't have their moms nearby, so why am I making such a big deal?
I guess it's just a lot of first time changes and experiences that sometimes excite me and sometimes scare me. I can't share those all with Jeff because it's just not the same as a mom or a girlfriend. He doesn't really GET it and I'm not sure what I mean by that, but I'm sure most women know what I'm talking about.
On another brief note, I'm pretty convinced it's a boy. I don't know why, but I am. I looked at boy bedding and clothes yesterday at Babies R Us. They had a cute Classic Mickey pattern that I would love to use! I also think I finally found a pattern I like for the travel system, playard and swing. We'll probably start registering in either late April or May (depending on our schedules, we're pretty busy) and I sure hope the registry people have a good list for me to follow because I'm pretty clueless right now what I need! I did get a really good body pillow yesterday though. Cost me an arm and a leg though, it better last through a kid or two!
Well, I'm going to go cook some breakfast and pick up the kitchen and family room. Task 1 of the many I have ahead of me today. I actually feel better now...
Today seems really hard. Jeff's gone golfing and I'd like nothing more but to see some friends or my mom, but instead I'm cleaning, doing the grocery shopping and making dinner. I think the nice weather also contributes to the need to just get out, even if it's just for lunch or to window shop.
I just wonder what it'll be like when we deliver the baby. I know Alicia and Jeff's mom will try and get down here, but if they can't, isn't it sad to think that no one will be in the waiting room for us?
I know this whole thing is ridiculous. Lisa delivered Aubrey in Idaho with no one but Philip and Laura and most of my friends don't have their moms nearby, so why am I making such a big deal?
I guess it's just a lot of first time changes and experiences that sometimes excite me and sometimes scare me. I can't share those all with Jeff because it's just not the same as a mom or a girlfriend. He doesn't really GET it and I'm not sure what I mean by that, but I'm sure most women know what I'm talking about.
On another brief note, I'm pretty convinced it's a boy. I don't know why, but I am. I looked at boy bedding and clothes yesterday at Babies R Us. They had a cute Classic Mickey pattern that I would love to use! I also think I finally found a pattern I like for the travel system, playard and swing. We'll probably start registering in either late April or May (depending on our schedules, we're pretty busy) and I sure hope the registry people have a good list for me to follow because I'm pretty clueless right now what I need! I did get a really good body pillow yesterday though. Cost me an arm and a leg though, it better last through a kid or two!
Well, I'm going to go cook some breakfast and pick up the kitchen and family room. Task 1 of the many I have ahead of me today. I actually feel better now...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Baby Bump
This is 14 weeks, 6 days...this week I've noticed it a lot more than I have in the past couple of weeks.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
14 weeks, 5 days...
Pretty quiet week, except for the bulging tummy. It’s becoming more noticeable (it seems like every day), especially at night when I’m moving around. Obviously I can’t feel the baby move yet, but it’s really apparent something is in there. It feels different when I stretch, lean over, move, and bend over. It’s just this odd feeling that’s never been there before. I wonder if that’s mental or real…?
Woke up last night with a bout of nausea in the middle of the night. It typically goes away when I sit up, so I just slept sitting up for a bit and then it was gone. Sleep is better now, though it won’t be what it was until this kid is a year old! But I don’t get up as much, only about 3 times a night instead of 5 or 6. I think I made it through one night over the weekend with only having to get up twice. That’s huge considering I sleep for the better part of 10 hours on weekends because I’m so exhausted from the week.
Eating more, but not. What I mean is that I’m consuming more food because I’m hungry more frequently, but I’m getting really fully before I finish my plate during dinner. Which is not normal for me HAHA. I need to learn to stop when I’m full! No weird cravings though. I’m pleased that I’m not having them, but I wish I could have just one to know what it feels like. I’m still really into juice, but the yogurt thing has dropped off. The doc wants me to drink lots of water and that’s fine, I love water, but I also want lots of juice and milk too. I love having milk with dinner because it also helps everything go down and helps reduce the heartburn. I have been into bagels and cream cheese a lot lately. I feel like I can eat them five times a day and never get tired of them. Weird.
Ligament pain has kicked up over this past week. I had it a bit around 10 weeks, but now it’s back. It’s more of an annoying feeling than anything, but kind of hurts too.
Went shopping over the weekend with Shannon and man was it depressing. I wanted to try on so many cute things for summer and spring, but had to stick to stuff that was big in the belly. No maternity stores at the Northridge mall either! Got two cute shirts I can wear probably until around 6 or 7 months and then wear after and even once I lose the weight. Got some leggings too which will be helpful during summer time, since I’m not a short dress person. What I really need is a bra to get me through until I pick up some maternity bras. My cheapy Wal-Mart fake sports bras are just not doing me any good. Think I’ll look at Target this weekend.
Work, is work. It has its moments of insanity and then it has these dull boring moments where time just doesn’t move. Eventually it will all change into a steady pace, but for now I’m having a hard time keeping myself awake. My desk is nice and big, but in a dark corner, so the lighting is a real drag-me-down and hurts my eyes and most of the time gives me a headache. I miss having people to go to lunch with or a nice cafeteria to walk over to in this nice weather. I try and walk 2-3 times a week on my lunch break and it’s not a big walk, but at least I’m trying. Think I’ll try and make it longer today just to get the exercise and to get out of here longer. I think I’ll also take my lunch into my car with my book and sit in there on my break. This whole building is just horrible! The lunch room is dark even! So at least if I sit in my car I can feel the nice breeze and the sun on my skin. I should try and enjoy it now because it’s going to be hotter than hell before I know it and I’ll be really pregnant and definitely not wanting to take a walk! I look at Serena who is about to have a baby by the end of this week, and she looks only 7 months pregnant because she goes to the gym every day! I don’t know how she goes to the gym every day! I mean she doesn’t work, so that helps, but still…I just hate the gym so much and I’d hate it even more at 39 weeks pregnant! I know the docs say you should walk a half hour a day 5 times a week, but is that really a realistic goal when you work full time or live somewhere where the climate is insanely hot 6 months of the year? It’s not for me because I’m too tired to wake up early to walk and too tired and hungry when I get off work to walk, so the best time for me to go is lunch and I work in the industrial center and it’s not the greatest area to walk for a half hour. And there’s no way I could do it 5 times a week.
Names. I could come up with girls’ names all day long, but the boys’ names are a little harder. We’ve narrowed it down to either Aaden or Conner, but fall short on middle names that flow. In keeping with Jeff’s family tradition we are doing two middle names per child, so this is even more difficult because I can’t even think of one middle name or at least one we can agree on. I really like Aaden Cole or Aaden Jeffrey, but he doesn’t. And with Conner, I have no idea. Originally it was going to be Conner William Christian Happ – after his great grandfather, but now he’s decided not to do that. And for a girl we’re definitely set on Olivia.
Still trying to make a decision on the Lamaze classes, but I think we’re leaning towards no. Kaiser has two programs for childbearing and one is 5 sessions and the other is 3. Considering the hospital is not exactly right down the street from us and these classes are a couple hours after work in the middle of the week, it just doesn’t sound appealing. I’m sure they’re really informational, but I figure there’s been many mothers before me (including my own) who didn’t take classes and still raised their kids just fine, so I’m sure it will be the same for me! We are going to do the hospital tour, but probably not until June or July when I’m actually really showing and I think it will be fun. There is one class I am interested in and that’s the Baby Care Basics class where you learn how to care for newborns. This one you just show up to and it’s free, so maybe I’ll think about that one. I wonder out of the many women that give birth in the U.S. every year, what percentage of them actually takes a Lamaze class? Just doesn’t seem as necessary as 20 years ago I suppose! I’d be willing to hear the positive things about taking it though and if it’s really worth it!
Well I’ve rambled enough for today, especially with a thankfully quiet week.
Woke up last night with a bout of nausea in the middle of the night. It typically goes away when I sit up, so I just slept sitting up for a bit and then it was gone. Sleep is better now, though it won’t be what it was until this kid is a year old! But I don’t get up as much, only about 3 times a night instead of 5 or 6. I think I made it through one night over the weekend with only having to get up twice. That’s huge considering I sleep for the better part of 10 hours on weekends because I’m so exhausted from the week.
Eating more, but not. What I mean is that I’m consuming more food because I’m hungry more frequently, but I’m getting really fully before I finish my plate during dinner. Which is not normal for me HAHA. I need to learn to stop when I’m full! No weird cravings though. I’m pleased that I’m not having them, but I wish I could have just one to know what it feels like. I’m still really into juice, but the yogurt thing has dropped off. The doc wants me to drink lots of water and that’s fine, I love water, but I also want lots of juice and milk too. I love having milk with dinner because it also helps everything go down and helps reduce the heartburn. I have been into bagels and cream cheese a lot lately. I feel like I can eat them five times a day and never get tired of them. Weird.
Ligament pain has kicked up over this past week. I had it a bit around 10 weeks, but now it’s back. It’s more of an annoying feeling than anything, but kind of hurts too.
Went shopping over the weekend with Shannon and man was it depressing. I wanted to try on so many cute things for summer and spring, but had to stick to stuff that was big in the belly. No maternity stores at the Northridge mall either! Got two cute shirts I can wear probably until around 6 or 7 months and then wear after and even once I lose the weight. Got some leggings too which will be helpful during summer time, since I’m not a short dress person. What I really need is a bra to get me through until I pick up some maternity bras. My cheapy Wal-Mart fake sports bras are just not doing me any good. Think I’ll look at Target this weekend.
Work, is work. It has its moments of insanity and then it has these dull boring moments where time just doesn’t move. Eventually it will all change into a steady pace, but for now I’m having a hard time keeping myself awake. My desk is nice and big, but in a dark corner, so the lighting is a real drag-me-down and hurts my eyes and most of the time gives me a headache. I miss having people to go to lunch with or a nice cafeteria to walk over to in this nice weather. I try and walk 2-3 times a week on my lunch break and it’s not a big walk, but at least I’m trying. Think I’ll try and make it longer today just to get the exercise and to get out of here longer. I think I’ll also take my lunch into my car with my book and sit in there on my break. This whole building is just horrible! The lunch room is dark even! So at least if I sit in my car I can feel the nice breeze and the sun on my skin. I should try and enjoy it now because it’s going to be hotter than hell before I know it and I’ll be really pregnant and definitely not wanting to take a walk! I look at Serena who is about to have a baby by the end of this week, and she looks only 7 months pregnant because she goes to the gym every day! I don’t know how she goes to the gym every day! I mean she doesn’t work, so that helps, but still…I just hate the gym so much and I’d hate it even more at 39 weeks pregnant! I know the docs say you should walk a half hour a day 5 times a week, but is that really a realistic goal when you work full time or live somewhere where the climate is insanely hot 6 months of the year? It’s not for me because I’m too tired to wake up early to walk and too tired and hungry when I get off work to walk, so the best time for me to go is lunch and I work in the industrial center and it’s not the greatest area to walk for a half hour. And there’s no way I could do it 5 times a week.
Names. I could come up with girls’ names all day long, but the boys’ names are a little harder. We’ve narrowed it down to either Aaden or Conner, but fall short on middle names that flow. In keeping with Jeff’s family tradition we are doing two middle names per child, so this is even more difficult because I can’t even think of one middle name or at least one we can agree on. I really like Aaden Cole or Aaden Jeffrey, but he doesn’t. And with Conner, I have no idea. Originally it was going to be Conner William Christian Happ – after his great grandfather, but now he’s decided not to do that. And for a girl we’re definitely set on Olivia.
Still trying to make a decision on the Lamaze classes, but I think we’re leaning towards no. Kaiser has two programs for childbearing and one is 5 sessions and the other is 3. Considering the hospital is not exactly right down the street from us and these classes are a couple hours after work in the middle of the week, it just doesn’t sound appealing. I’m sure they’re really informational, but I figure there’s been many mothers before me (including my own) who didn’t take classes and still raised their kids just fine, so I’m sure it will be the same for me! We are going to do the hospital tour, but probably not until June or July when I’m actually really showing and I think it will be fun. There is one class I am interested in and that’s the Baby Care Basics class where you learn how to care for newborns. This one you just show up to and it’s free, so maybe I’ll think about that one. I wonder out of the many women that give birth in the U.S. every year, what percentage of them actually takes a Lamaze class? Just doesn’t seem as necessary as 20 years ago I suppose! I’d be willing to hear the positive things about taking it though and if it’s really worth it!
Well I’ve rambled enough for today, especially with a thankfully quiet week.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
13 weeks, 6 days...
Originally written: March 19, 2009
Interesting week. The weekend was good and I had a good amount of energy. But Sunday night around 8pm I was on the phone with my friend Liz and suddenly got this intense wave of nausea. I got off the phone with her and tried to lay down, but it made it worse. I tried to focus on the TV and not pay attention, but it just wouldn't go away. Drank some water and still nothing. I couldn't even brush my teeth before bed because I just knew I'd gag on the toothbrush. I was surprised that I could even stand mouth wash! That entire night I felt nauseous on and off. It seemed to have dissipated the following morning but around 9am came back again. It was on and off throughout the day, despite what I ate and my preggie pop drops. Never before have the preggie pops not helped - they've been magic! But Tuesday morning I felt a lot better and haven't felt that way since. People at work are like "are you feeling okay?" and I tell them I'm nauseous or whatever and they say "well you're through your first trimester, so it shouldn't be happening anymore." Well I'm not lying! Some women get it a lot longer, geeeez!
My hunger has stayed about the same. If I eat breakfast, then a snack, then lunch, then a snack and then dinner, I'm fine. That equals out to food about every 2 - 3 hours. No new cravings, though I did tell Jeff that pancakes with M&M's in them would be good.
Speaking of M&M's did I already speak about the access saliva incident? Yeah, so pregnant women experience an increased amount of saliva and apparently I am not prone to that symptom because I feel like a freakin' camel spitting all of the time (I only do it at home when no one's around haha), but it's becoming an issue at work. Last week I was standing at Vanessa's desk talking to her and Kara and I picked up some M&M's from Vanessa's candy jar. I was talking and chewing on them and all of a sudden a rainbow waterfall of drool (saliva) comes sliding out of my mouth and down onto my shirt. I mean.......really???? Was I born in a barn? Awesome impression on my new employees too. And it's completely uncontrollable! It's not like I can do anything about it, I didn't know it was happening until it was halfway between my bottom lip and my shirt.
Been looking at baby stuff online. Even though we're finding out the sex ahead of time we're still getting all gender neutral "gear." Only because the gear will carry onto the next child so I don't want them to be stuck with a specific color. The nursery itself will be gender specific including the bedding and paint color. We're also going to have to get two bases for the snap in car seat because we'll need a base in each car. These are all of my realizations this week haha.
So I think my mom has decided on a July 25th shower date. We had to decide early because I have friends and family coming from out of town and some of them are looking to extend their stay and are asking now so they can block off vacation time at work and watch flights for good deals. It's hard with everyone living an hour away or more. I don't want to be the bitch who went against all etiquette and planned her own shower but my mom has kind of thrown that back on me a bit. We're hoping to have most of the nursery done by then so people who attend can come up and take a look. We'll probably start working on the nursery in June. We have to install a fan, donate and get rid of some furniture, clean out the closets, paint, and I have to find some way to get my childhood toy chest from my parents so I can re-finish it for the nursery. I think April will be the quietest month for us until the baby comes!
Think I'll move this blog over to blogspot with the rest of my blog entries from this year and last. That way it's all in one place! For any readers you will now be able to find my blogs at: http://sweetpeameg.blogspot.com/ - bookmark my journey!
Interesting week. The weekend was good and I had a good amount of energy. But Sunday night around 8pm I was on the phone with my friend Liz and suddenly got this intense wave of nausea. I got off the phone with her and tried to lay down, but it made it worse. I tried to focus on the TV and not pay attention, but it just wouldn't go away. Drank some water and still nothing. I couldn't even brush my teeth before bed because I just knew I'd gag on the toothbrush. I was surprised that I could even stand mouth wash! That entire night I felt nauseous on and off. It seemed to have dissipated the following morning but around 9am came back again. It was on and off throughout the day, despite what I ate and my preggie pop drops. Never before have the preggie pops not helped - they've been magic! But Tuesday morning I felt a lot better and haven't felt that way since. People at work are like "are you feeling okay?" and I tell them I'm nauseous or whatever and they say "well you're through your first trimester, so it shouldn't be happening anymore." Well I'm not lying! Some women get it a lot longer, geeeez!
My hunger has stayed about the same. If I eat breakfast, then a snack, then lunch, then a snack and then dinner, I'm fine. That equals out to food about every 2 - 3 hours. No new cravings, though I did tell Jeff that pancakes with M&M's in them would be good.
Speaking of M&M's did I already speak about the access saliva incident? Yeah, so pregnant women experience an increased amount of saliva and apparently I am not prone to that symptom because I feel like a freakin' camel spitting all of the time (I only do it at home when no one's around haha), but it's becoming an issue at work. Last week I was standing at Vanessa's desk talking to her and Kara and I picked up some M&M's from Vanessa's candy jar. I was talking and chewing on them and all of a sudden a rainbow waterfall of drool (saliva) comes sliding out of my mouth and down onto my shirt. I mean.......really???? Was I born in a barn? Awesome impression on my new employees too. And it's completely uncontrollable! It's not like I can do anything about it, I didn't know it was happening until it was halfway between my bottom lip and my shirt.
Been looking at baby stuff online. Even though we're finding out the sex ahead of time we're still getting all gender neutral "gear." Only because the gear will carry onto the next child so I don't want them to be stuck with a specific color. The nursery itself will be gender specific including the bedding and paint color. We're also going to have to get two bases for the snap in car seat because we'll need a base in each car. These are all of my realizations this week haha.
So I think my mom has decided on a July 25th shower date. We had to decide early because I have friends and family coming from out of town and some of them are looking to extend their stay and are asking now so they can block off vacation time at work and watch flights for good deals. It's hard with everyone living an hour away or more. I don't want to be the bitch who went against all etiquette and planned her own shower but my mom has kind of thrown that back on me a bit. We're hoping to have most of the nursery done by then so people who attend can come up and take a look. We'll probably start working on the nursery in June. We have to install a fan, donate and get rid of some furniture, clean out the closets, paint, and I have to find some way to get my childhood toy chest from my parents so I can re-finish it for the nursery. I think April will be the quietest month for us until the baby comes!
Think I'll move this blog over to blogspot with the rest of my blog entries from this year and last. That way it's all in one place! For any readers you will now be able to find my blogs at: http://sweetpeameg.blogspot.com/ - bookmark my journey!
13 weeks, 0 days...
Originally written: March 13, 2009
Big week this week! Gradually other people and myself are starting to notice my little baby bump. I'm starting to feel like it is a bump and not just flab. My tummy is starting to itch more too, which means the skin is stretching. Good thing Lisa sent me some body butter for a gift! I can still button two pairs of work pants, but choose not to, just because it's not comfortable. I put on the Bella Band instead. My jeans still fit fine because they were big on me to begin with, so no worries there for at least another month or so. I'm hungrier now, noticing that I have to eat something every two hours or my stomach just aches and growls at me.
On Tuesday, March 10th we had our 12 week appointment and it went excellent. The baby is measuring exactly the right size for being 13 weeks. The ultra sound was so much fun and a HUGE change since the 8 week one. Our little bean now looks like a little person! It has arms, legs, feet, toes, fingers, eyes, nose, mouth and a very definite shape to it. The doctor pressed on my stomach and we got to watch it move all around, flailing its arms and legs and it even turned over on its side and put its back to us! We also got to see a shot of the top of the head to see the "butterfly shape" of the brain. And you could see the umbilical cord on the screen. So exciting!
I've only gained one pound and they asked me to drink a bit more water because there's a little too much protein in my urine. Blood pressure was good at 100/70. I got back on April 6th for my 16 week.
I feel, ok. Depends on the day. I'm still not sleeping very well. It seems when I finally fall into a deep sleep, the alarm goes off and I have to drag myself out of bed. It's been busy with the new job at work, so by the end of the night I'm really tired and can hardly keep my eyes open. The heartburn is getting worse, happening almost every night now. I try and sit up a lot in bed, but I'm so tired my head just falls down to the side. I usually pop a TUMS and feel a lot better. The feeling of food stuck in my throat and chest depends on the day. It's not every day like last week and has subsided a little bit, but is still happening. I hate that worse than heartburn because it makes me gag on things like my toothbrush.
My parents made flight reservations to come down over Mother's Day weekend. By then we'll know the sex and be able to go do some shopping. It's going to be so much fun getting the nursery together. Guess I should make April my Spring Cleaning/Get my Donations Together month! We have a lot of extra furniture stored in that room that I think we'll donate for a tax write off. Then maybe we can paint it in June so it kind of looks put together before my shower in July.
Random things I craved this week (some lasted for days, some lasted for 5 mins and went away) are:
Fruit Smoothie - and I don't mean that sugar-loaded crap that Jamba makes, like actual natural fruit smoothies either plain or with yogurt. Finally, after 3 days, got mine today. Cranberry, Strawberry, Banana and Ice. Perfect. :-)
Cheesy popcorn - yes like that stuff that's so good it turns your fingers orange and comes in a pretty tin at Xmas time. Yum!
Cheeseburgers - still in the back of my head every day, though I don't feel like I'm going to die without one. There's simply just never a moment when that doesn't sound good! Tomorrow we'll go to Red Robin and get my monthly cheeseburger and I will be happy again for another 4 weeks haha.
Neapolitan Ice Cream - this started last Friday night because I wanted something to ease my indigestion, but I didn't want milk (besides we drink non-fat and that has no impact on the gagging feeling in my throat). I wanted strawberry, then I wanted chocolate, then I wanted vanilla...so Jeff came back from the store with Neapolitan so I had all three. Quite yummy.
Root Beer - this has been going on for a couple of weeks now. Let me just note that I NEVER drink Root Beer. It's ok, just not my favorite kind of soda, tastes a little funny...well over the past 2-3 weeks I'm obsessed with it. So I finally bought myself some diet stuff so I can treat myself every weekend to one. Good thing it's caffeine free or I'd be in trouble.
Well that's all I can think of for my entire 12th week. Today's day 1 of Week 13 (I don't get why some books/sites say I still have another week in my first trimester, meaning the second trimester starts on week 14 and other books/sites say my second trimester starts today since my 12th week is now complete...???). I'm really looking forward to the next couple months as we find out the sex of the baby, have visits with friends and family, and a trip to Washington and Canada on tap. We also get to start planning a theme for the nursery which will be a lot of fun.
Big week this week! Gradually other people and myself are starting to notice my little baby bump. I'm starting to feel like it is a bump and not just flab. My tummy is starting to itch more too, which means the skin is stretching. Good thing Lisa sent me some body butter for a gift! I can still button two pairs of work pants, but choose not to, just because it's not comfortable. I put on the Bella Band instead. My jeans still fit fine because they were big on me to begin with, so no worries there for at least another month or so. I'm hungrier now, noticing that I have to eat something every two hours or my stomach just aches and growls at me.
On Tuesday, March 10th we had our 12 week appointment and it went excellent. The baby is measuring exactly the right size for being 13 weeks. The ultra sound was so much fun and a HUGE change since the 8 week one. Our little bean now looks like a little person! It has arms, legs, feet, toes, fingers, eyes, nose, mouth and a very definite shape to it. The doctor pressed on my stomach and we got to watch it move all around, flailing its arms and legs and it even turned over on its side and put its back to us! We also got to see a shot of the top of the head to see the "butterfly shape" of the brain. And you could see the umbilical cord on the screen. So exciting!
I've only gained one pound and they asked me to drink a bit more water because there's a little too much protein in my urine. Blood pressure was good at 100/70. I got back on April 6th for my 16 week.
I feel, ok. Depends on the day. I'm still not sleeping very well. It seems when I finally fall into a deep sleep, the alarm goes off and I have to drag myself out of bed. It's been busy with the new job at work, so by the end of the night I'm really tired and can hardly keep my eyes open. The heartburn is getting worse, happening almost every night now. I try and sit up a lot in bed, but I'm so tired my head just falls down to the side. I usually pop a TUMS and feel a lot better. The feeling of food stuck in my throat and chest depends on the day. It's not every day like last week and has subsided a little bit, but is still happening. I hate that worse than heartburn because it makes me gag on things like my toothbrush.
My parents made flight reservations to come down over Mother's Day weekend. By then we'll know the sex and be able to go do some shopping. It's going to be so much fun getting the nursery together. Guess I should make April my Spring Cleaning/Get my Donations Together month! We have a lot of extra furniture stored in that room that I think we'll donate for a tax write off. Then maybe we can paint it in June so it kind of looks put together before my shower in July.
Random things I craved this week (some lasted for days, some lasted for 5 mins and went away) are:
Fruit Smoothie - and I don't mean that sugar-loaded crap that Jamba makes, like actual natural fruit smoothies either plain or with yogurt. Finally, after 3 days, got mine today. Cranberry, Strawberry, Banana and Ice. Perfect. :-)
Cheesy popcorn - yes like that stuff that's so good it turns your fingers orange and comes in a pretty tin at Xmas time. Yum!
Cheeseburgers - still in the back of my head every day, though I don't feel like I'm going to die without one. There's simply just never a moment when that doesn't sound good! Tomorrow we'll go to Red Robin and get my monthly cheeseburger and I will be happy again for another 4 weeks haha.
Neapolitan Ice Cream - this started last Friday night because I wanted something to ease my indigestion, but I didn't want milk (besides we drink non-fat and that has no impact on the gagging feeling in my throat). I wanted strawberry, then I wanted chocolate, then I wanted vanilla...so Jeff came back from the store with Neapolitan so I had all three. Quite yummy.
Root Beer - this has been going on for a couple of weeks now. Let me just note that I NEVER drink Root Beer. It's ok, just not my favorite kind of soda, tastes a little funny...well over the past 2-3 weeks I'm obsessed with it. So I finally bought myself some diet stuff so I can treat myself every weekend to one. Good thing it's caffeine free or I'd be in trouble.
Well that's all I can think of for my entire 12th week. Today's day 1 of Week 13 (I don't get why some books/sites say I still have another week in my first trimester, meaning the second trimester starts on week 14 and other books/sites say my second trimester starts today since my 12th week is now complete...???). I'm really looking forward to the next couple months as we find out the sex of the baby, have visits with friends and family, and a trip to Washington and Canada on tap. We also get to start planning a theme for the nursery which will be a lot of fun.
11 weeks, 4 days...
Originally written: March 3, 2009
What a roller coaster week! So Mon, Tues, Wed of last week I felt horrible. Didn't get much sleep, still had the nausea, things were status quo. Then Thursday - Sunday the nausea was about 99% gone and I even felt like a "normal" person again on Saturday and Sunday. I attribute that partially to getting two good night's of sleep on Friday night and Saturday night. I had so much energy on Saturday and Sunday. We bought our first family car, I walked Gizzie with Liz at the park while the boys practiced for softball, I ran around Santa Clarita on Sunday doing errands and I felt great. I was tired by the end of the night, but I was like "hey, I'm coming up on my 12th week and things are finally getting better..." and then I didn't get good night's sleep on Sunday or Monday night so I'm back to feeling like crap today. I think also this whole "stopped up" feeling makes me feel icky at times too. I've always eaten a high fiber diet, but now it doesn't seem like enough and I find myself adding additional fiber into my food!
Some people on the message boards are already finding out the sex of what they're having! I didn't even think it was possible until I went for my 20 week ultra sound on May 4th, but I guess we'll see what the doc sees (if anything) next Tuesday for my 12 week appointment. It would be awesome if we knew earlier - I'd be able to buy things gradually over the course of the pregnancy, therefore spreading out the funds!
On another note, I started my new job yesterday. So far so good, but it's hard to get a lot of training right now with my boss in meetings and conducting trainings himself. At least I'm being eased into it. So far it feels like I may even have more freedom than I did before as far as schedule and where I sit. And I know there will be times when I hate my job, but I'm really feeling like I did make the right decision after all of the second guessing I did a few months ago.
And seriously, I'm not in any hurry to have this huge stomach in my way, but if people could tell I was pregnant and not just fat, that would be awesome. The 24/7 bloat/fat is just making me look like I buy shirts that don't fit me! My first pair of pregnancy pants (work khakis) are soooooo comfy - I wish I had more, but I don't want to get crazy buying all of these maternity clothes this early on. If I suck in my stomach to get rid of the bloat, I do see a small basketball shape starting to appear, but it's very minimal. I just notice it because when my stomach stuck out before it was my whole stomach from my sides, not just in the very front. But that's only visible to me, no one else. So my 24/7 bloat/fat just sticks out and I'm sure it makes me look like I'm more like 4.5 months along! Oh well!
Still drinking lots of milk and craving lots of cheese. I'm still completely offended by one whole piece of chicken, but don't mind it cut up on pizza or in pasta, etc. I even bought steaks to make this week and I never buy red meat! I'm also really liking hard boiled eggs, string cheese, yogurt, fruit (especially oranges), juice and cereal. So basically protein and dairy. I've been trying to eat the portioned controlled sized packages of almonds for some good Omega-3's as well as 90 calorie packs of Special K multi-grain crackers. Still buying as many fruits, dairy and protein in Organic or naturally fed as possible. They just taste better anyways and when you buy them from Trader Joe's they're either just below or just slightly above the cost of Wal Mart. And Wal Mart's meat and veggies (at least at our Super Wal Mart here in Santa Clarita) are just ICKY. The only thing I can really buy from there is potatoes and onions and a lot of times those are even icky!
So that's it for 11 weeks!! :-)
What a roller coaster week! So Mon, Tues, Wed of last week I felt horrible. Didn't get much sleep, still had the nausea, things were status quo. Then Thursday - Sunday the nausea was about 99% gone and I even felt like a "normal" person again on Saturday and Sunday. I attribute that partially to getting two good night's of sleep on Friday night and Saturday night. I had so much energy on Saturday and Sunday. We bought our first family car, I walked Gizzie with Liz at the park while the boys practiced for softball, I ran around Santa Clarita on Sunday doing errands and I felt great. I was tired by the end of the night, but I was like "hey, I'm coming up on my 12th week and things are finally getting better..." and then I didn't get good night's sleep on Sunday or Monday night so I'm back to feeling like crap today. I think also this whole "stopped up" feeling makes me feel icky at times too. I've always eaten a high fiber diet, but now it doesn't seem like enough and I find myself adding additional fiber into my food!
Some people on the message boards are already finding out the sex of what they're having! I didn't even think it was possible until I went for my 20 week ultra sound on May 4th, but I guess we'll see what the doc sees (if anything) next Tuesday for my 12 week appointment. It would be awesome if we knew earlier - I'd be able to buy things gradually over the course of the pregnancy, therefore spreading out the funds!
On another note, I started my new job yesterday. So far so good, but it's hard to get a lot of training right now with my boss in meetings and conducting trainings himself. At least I'm being eased into it. So far it feels like I may even have more freedom than I did before as far as schedule and where I sit. And I know there will be times when I hate my job, but I'm really feeling like I did make the right decision after all of the second guessing I did a few months ago.
And seriously, I'm not in any hurry to have this huge stomach in my way, but if people could tell I was pregnant and not just fat, that would be awesome. The 24/7 bloat/fat is just making me look like I buy shirts that don't fit me! My first pair of pregnancy pants (work khakis) are soooooo comfy - I wish I had more, but I don't want to get crazy buying all of these maternity clothes this early on. If I suck in my stomach to get rid of the bloat, I do see a small basketball shape starting to appear, but it's very minimal. I just notice it because when my stomach stuck out before it was my whole stomach from my sides, not just in the very front. But that's only visible to me, no one else. So my 24/7 bloat/fat just sticks out and I'm sure it makes me look like I'm more like 4.5 months along! Oh well!
Still drinking lots of milk and craving lots of cheese. I'm still completely offended by one whole piece of chicken, but don't mind it cut up on pizza or in pasta, etc. I even bought steaks to make this week and I never buy red meat! I'm also really liking hard boiled eggs, string cheese, yogurt, fruit (especially oranges), juice and cereal. So basically protein and dairy. I've been trying to eat the portioned controlled sized packages of almonds for some good Omega-3's as well as 90 calorie packs of Special K multi-grain crackers. Still buying as many fruits, dairy and protein in Organic or naturally fed as possible. They just taste better anyways and when you buy them from Trader Joe's they're either just below or just slightly above the cost of Wal Mart. And Wal Mart's meat and veggies (at least at our Super Wal Mart here in Santa Clarita) are just ICKY. The only thing I can really buy from there is potatoes and onions and a lot of times those are even icky!
So that's it for 11 weeks!! :-)
10 weeks, 4 days...
Originally written: February 23, 2009
Oh nausea, when will you leave me alone! I'm still very happy to report that I haven't thrown up! When people ask me how I feel I just tell them that I consider myself lucky compared to other women, but a lot of days I feel like I'm battling something comparable to the flu. And I've noticed that the days I lay around I feel worse actually than the days where I actually get up, go to work, and do things.
We've told pretty much 98% of the people we know as of this week. The big one was Alicia and once we were able to see her and tell her in person we were okay with everyone else knowing. There are so many friends and family out there that are so sweet and so excited for us. It makes me really miss those friends that I'm close to but live so far away. I wish all of our kids could just grow up together.
Food. Oy. So I gave in and had a big fat Red Robin cheeseburger on Friday night and boy was it the tastiest thing ever! I also spoiled myself with Alicia's toffee, but today I'm somewhat back on the wagon. I eat healthy 98% of the time, but I've been eating more, so it makes me feel like I'm eating too much, even though it's healthy. I've been doing 4 mini-meals and 1 large meal (instead of 6 mini meals). The mornings are the worst. I'm starving from the minute I wake up. I used to eat breakfast at 9:30 in the morning and now I HAVE to eat the minute I get to work or I feel like I'm going to die. So I eat cereal with fruit. Around 10am I get hungry again so I'll have a 90 calorie pack of crackers with an orange or some almonds and a piece of fruit or some yogurt (100 cals or less). At lunch I still do a small portioned meal (PB&J sandwich, etc.) with some lite crackers or lite chips and an apple. Then around 3:00 I'm ready for another snack. Yogurt, jello, fruit or veggies, 100 calorie pack, something of that nature to hold me until I get home and can make a normal dinner. And when I'm hungry - I NEED TO EAT NOW! No joke. I used to be able to put it off for a few, but if I don't eat, watch out!
I also just bought some organic eggs and hard boiled them so I can make sure I'm getting some protein when I don't feel like eating meat. Chicken has really been grossing me out. Only in like the 98% FF Boneless Skinless form (or on a bone which I never eat). All other ways it seems to be ok. But I'm now in love with milk! I drink it so much more now. We used to never be able to even finish the smallest container from the grocery store and now I'm finishing the medium sized container in a matter of days. They don't have the large size in the Organic fat free at Wal Mart, I need to look at Trader Joes.
Tomorrow I get my blood draw for the Downs Syndrome test. We didn't even really have time to talk about it - she told us we should do it and I said ok. It'll just tell me if I'm carrier. Unless my doc thinks it's medically necessary I don't think we'd take it any further like the amniotic fluid test or anything. I think we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Another week and a half and I can cross into my second trimester which is just fabulous. I need some relief from these insanely sleepless nights and all of the nausea. I had to train my replacement for my job today and sometimes I notice when I'm talking too much I feel like I'm going to throw up. Those preggie pop drops are really helping!
xoxoxo
M
Oh nausea, when will you leave me alone! I'm still very happy to report that I haven't thrown up! When people ask me how I feel I just tell them that I consider myself lucky compared to other women, but a lot of days I feel like I'm battling something comparable to the flu. And I've noticed that the days I lay around I feel worse actually than the days where I actually get up, go to work, and do things.
We've told pretty much 98% of the people we know as of this week. The big one was Alicia and once we were able to see her and tell her in person we were okay with everyone else knowing. There are so many friends and family out there that are so sweet and so excited for us. It makes me really miss those friends that I'm close to but live so far away. I wish all of our kids could just grow up together.
Food. Oy. So I gave in and had a big fat Red Robin cheeseburger on Friday night and boy was it the tastiest thing ever! I also spoiled myself with Alicia's toffee, but today I'm somewhat back on the wagon. I eat healthy 98% of the time, but I've been eating more, so it makes me feel like I'm eating too much, even though it's healthy. I've been doing 4 mini-meals and 1 large meal (instead of 6 mini meals). The mornings are the worst. I'm starving from the minute I wake up. I used to eat breakfast at 9:30 in the morning and now I HAVE to eat the minute I get to work or I feel like I'm going to die. So I eat cereal with fruit. Around 10am I get hungry again so I'll have a 90 calorie pack of crackers with an orange or some almonds and a piece of fruit or some yogurt (100 cals or less). At lunch I still do a small portioned meal (PB&J sandwich, etc.) with some lite crackers or lite chips and an apple. Then around 3:00 I'm ready for another snack. Yogurt, jello, fruit or veggies, 100 calorie pack, something of that nature to hold me until I get home and can make a normal dinner. And when I'm hungry - I NEED TO EAT NOW! No joke. I used to be able to put it off for a few, but if I don't eat, watch out!
I also just bought some organic eggs and hard boiled them so I can make sure I'm getting some protein when I don't feel like eating meat. Chicken has really been grossing me out. Only in like the 98% FF Boneless Skinless form (or on a bone which I never eat). All other ways it seems to be ok. But I'm now in love with milk! I drink it so much more now. We used to never be able to even finish the smallest container from the grocery store and now I'm finishing the medium sized container in a matter of days. They don't have the large size in the Organic fat free at Wal Mart, I need to look at Trader Joes.
Tomorrow I get my blood draw for the Downs Syndrome test. We didn't even really have time to talk about it - she told us we should do it and I said ok. It'll just tell me if I'm carrier. Unless my doc thinks it's medically necessary I don't think we'd take it any further like the amniotic fluid test or anything. I think we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Another week and a half and I can cross into my second trimester which is just fabulous. I need some relief from these insanely sleepless nights and all of the nausea. I had to train my replacement for my job today and sometimes I notice when I'm talking too much I feel like I'm going to throw up. Those preggie pop drops are really helping!
xoxoxo
M
8 weeks, 6 days...
Originally written: February 12, 2009
Although an insanely busy work week, this week was a milestone for our little bean. We had our first sonogram on Tuesday, February 10th and saw the little girl or boy in there with a heartbeat strong enough to beat right off the screen. Seeing and hearing the heartbeat was an insane reality check that this was really happening and it also took a lot of worrying off of my shoulders. The baby dated at 8 weeks, 3 days on Tuesday (which is when I was technically 8 weeks, 4 days), so she's not going to change my due date since everything is nicely on track. How great to see that he/she is growing at the proper rate!
I also met with my new boss on Wednesday and I gave him the big news. He reacted just like I knew he would. He was happy for me and said we would work it out. I think his only concern is that I'll be gone for the end of the year. But my parents should be visiting then, so I can come back and work year end and not have to worry about child care.
Today I'm telling my co-worker and his wife. They're our friends outside of work and I go to Weight Watchers with his wife. I haven't been able to quit Weight Watchers because I couldn't tell them, so finally today is the day to tell them so I can quit going.
Our goal is to tell as many people as possible in person, so a lot of times that means we have to wait to tell people that we don't see as often, or we have to tell someone a little earlier than we planned. Everyone else we're doing emails with the sonogram. Everyone's "got it" so far except for my aunt, who thought it was snow or a butterfly in snow - HAHA.
Great week!! :-)
Although an insanely busy work week, this week was a milestone for our little bean. We had our first sonogram on Tuesday, February 10th and saw the little girl or boy in there with a heartbeat strong enough to beat right off the screen. Seeing and hearing the heartbeat was an insane reality check that this was really happening and it also took a lot of worrying off of my shoulders. The baby dated at 8 weeks, 3 days on Tuesday (which is when I was technically 8 weeks, 4 days), so she's not going to change my due date since everything is nicely on track. How great to see that he/she is growing at the proper rate!
I also met with my new boss on Wednesday and I gave him the big news. He reacted just like I knew he would. He was happy for me and said we would work it out. I think his only concern is that I'll be gone for the end of the year. But my parents should be visiting then, so I can come back and work year end and not have to worry about child care.
Today I'm telling my co-worker and his wife. They're our friends outside of work and I go to Weight Watchers with his wife. I haven't been able to quit Weight Watchers because I couldn't tell them, so finally today is the day to tell them so I can quit going.
Our goal is to tell as many people as possible in person, so a lot of times that means we have to wait to tell people that we don't see as often, or we have to tell someone a little earlier than we planned. Everyone else we're doing emails with the sonogram. Everyone's "got it" so far except for my aunt, who thought it was snow or a butterfly in snow - HAHA.
Great week!! :-)
7 weeks, 3 days...and the nausea sets in...
Originally written: February 2, 2009
It started at the very end of my 6th week, but since Saturday (7 weeks, 1 day), it's been a lot worse. I still haven't thrown up, but from about 10am - 12-12:30pm it's pretty bad. It makes me not only feel dizzy and nauseas, but it makes me feel really tired when it happens. All I want to do is lay down, but that's kind of hard when you're at work!
Our National Sales Meeting is this week which will be really hard on my body. Considering I already feel like crap, I'm pretty worried about what I'm in for. I just need to get through this week! Next week is my first real doctor's appointment and I'm supposed to get a vaginal ultra-sound. This makes me really happy because I want the doc to give me a better EDD or at least confirm the one I have (9/18/2009). I also want to know that there's a heartbeat and everything is progressing as normal. If all goes well, then I plan on telling Jade the following day about the pregnancy, and I also plan on telling Liz so I can quit Weight Watchers. I really didn't want anyone to know until after the first trimester is over, but it's kind of hard when you have so much resting on one thing.
Besides nausea I think my sense of smell is getting stronger. I open the fridge and can smell last night's leftovers. I can smell the lip gloss of my co-worker next to me. Perfumes and body sprays of others are so much more potent. And none of this goes really well with my queasy stomach.
I'm still a bit stressed out about what we're going to do when the baby is born. All of the reassuring my mom gave to me was based on that she thought it would take a year for me to get pregnant. Which she should have disclosed that to me at the time, but didn't, so now we're a lot "earlier" than she thought. So it looks like I won't have the help I was promised. And since they're set on not giving me a raise to take this new job, there's now no way we could afford for Jeff to quit his job. That would have been at least a possibility with a raise and now it's just a dream. But I'm not going to continue on with that bullshit and how I feel like my boss completely stabbed me in the back...I'm just not sure what our options are going to be considering daycare will cost all of Jeff's salary. I have to talk to my parents more over the next few months and see what their final verdict is.
It's odd...but we've only told a few people about the pregnancy and the very few we told weren't as excited as I thought they would be. His mom, a few of our friends. I guess their reactions were just different than what I expected. Some of our friends were completely overjoyed, but others were like "Oh, congrats..." and onto the next part of the conversation. It's a bit disappointing actually considering we don't have many friends, so those we do have, we were hoping for a little more excitement. But oh well! I guess we're in a different place in life than most of our friends, so that probably makes a difference.
That's it for now - the smell of lip-gloss is making me want to puke!
It started at the very end of my 6th week, but since Saturday (7 weeks, 1 day), it's been a lot worse. I still haven't thrown up, but from about 10am - 12-12:30pm it's pretty bad. It makes me not only feel dizzy and nauseas, but it makes me feel really tired when it happens. All I want to do is lay down, but that's kind of hard when you're at work!
Our National Sales Meeting is this week which will be really hard on my body. Considering I already feel like crap, I'm pretty worried about what I'm in for. I just need to get through this week! Next week is my first real doctor's appointment and I'm supposed to get a vaginal ultra-sound. This makes me really happy because I want the doc to give me a better EDD or at least confirm the one I have (9/18/2009). I also want to know that there's a heartbeat and everything is progressing as normal. If all goes well, then I plan on telling Jade the following day about the pregnancy, and I also plan on telling Liz so I can quit Weight Watchers. I really didn't want anyone to know until after the first trimester is over, but it's kind of hard when you have so much resting on one thing.
Besides nausea I think my sense of smell is getting stronger. I open the fridge and can smell last night's leftovers. I can smell the lip gloss of my co-worker next to me. Perfumes and body sprays of others are so much more potent. And none of this goes really well with my queasy stomach.
I'm still a bit stressed out about what we're going to do when the baby is born. All of the reassuring my mom gave to me was based on that she thought it would take a year for me to get pregnant. Which she should have disclosed that to me at the time, but didn't, so now we're a lot "earlier" than she thought. So it looks like I won't have the help I was promised. And since they're set on not giving me a raise to take this new job, there's now no way we could afford for Jeff to quit his job. That would have been at least a possibility with a raise and now it's just a dream. But I'm not going to continue on with that bullshit and how I feel like my boss completely stabbed me in the back...I'm just not sure what our options are going to be considering daycare will cost all of Jeff's salary. I have to talk to my parents more over the next few months and see what their final verdict is.
It's odd...but we've only told a few people about the pregnancy and the very few we told weren't as excited as I thought they would be. His mom, a few of our friends. I guess their reactions were just different than what I expected. Some of our friends were completely overjoyed, but others were like "Oh, congrats..." and onto the next part of the conversation. It's a bit disappointing actually considering we don't have many friends, so those we do have, we were hoping for a little more excitement. But oh well! I guess we're in a different place in life than most of our friends, so that probably makes a difference.
That's it for now - the smell of lip-gloss is making me want to puke!
6 weeks, 2 days...
Originally written: January 26, 2009
I'm having really mixed emotions right now. I go from being so happy to so scared in a heartbeat and I think the situation with possibly getting this new job is just adding fuel to the hormonal fire.
I have to take this job to further my career and better setup a future for my family. If I don't take this job I lose a huge opportunity and also a pay bump and not taking it could result in my career being at a standstill for years to come. Taking this job is a step in the right direction...so why does it feel so wrong? Well, I think what's hard for me is that with this opportunity and the ability to setup my future for my family, also comes long hours, month-ends, and a high demand on myself emotionally. It's also going to result in a shorter maternity leave than I really wanted to take (so I can be back for the year-end close) and it'll result in probably a 50+ hour work week. I feel like I'm going to miss so much of my child's life working so many hours every day. I just feel like it's really unfair. Why couldn't Jeff be the one with the career and the promotions and the bread-winning salary so I could work part time or at least take enough time during maternity leave? But it's never going to be that way. We'd have to live on food stamps with his salary, that's for sure.
Both the decision to have a child and to move forward with my career seem to be happening at the same time. It's making this journey a lot more emotional as I think about the sleepless nights to come, the time I'll be away from the baby after he/she is born, and how much of a challenge this new job will be for me mentally. (I mean, supervising 12 women with no past supervisory skills - holy crap!) It seems all so overwhelming right now and even though I know I have to move forward with this job, it's very hard for me to want to with this little baby growing inside of me.
Some days I feel so ready to take on the world - "I can be a super mom and excel in my career at the same time!" - and other days I just wonder what the hell I'm doing. There's so many questions...
Who's going to watch the baby until my parents are able to be here permanently in the Spring?
Who's going to clean the house and do the laundry when I'm exhausted and working a billion hours whilst being up all night with a newborn?
How will I work so many hours, come home, make dinner, take care of a baby and then be up all night with diaper changes and feedings, only to wake up at the crack of dawn again the next morning to do it all over again?
I know everything will work itself out, but nonetheless, I'm pretty stressed out right now. It's all so overwhelming and I think it's magnified by 100 times because of my hormonal changes.
I'm having really mixed emotions right now. I go from being so happy to so scared in a heartbeat and I think the situation with possibly getting this new job is just adding fuel to the hormonal fire.
I have to take this job to further my career and better setup a future for my family. If I don't take this job I lose a huge opportunity and also a pay bump and not taking it could result in my career being at a standstill for years to come. Taking this job is a step in the right direction...so why does it feel so wrong? Well, I think what's hard for me is that with this opportunity and the ability to setup my future for my family, also comes long hours, month-ends, and a high demand on myself emotionally. It's also going to result in a shorter maternity leave than I really wanted to take (so I can be back for the year-end close) and it'll result in probably a 50+ hour work week. I feel like I'm going to miss so much of my child's life working so many hours every day. I just feel like it's really unfair. Why couldn't Jeff be the one with the career and the promotions and the bread-winning salary so I could work part time or at least take enough time during maternity leave? But it's never going to be that way. We'd have to live on food stamps with his salary, that's for sure.
Both the decision to have a child and to move forward with my career seem to be happening at the same time. It's making this journey a lot more emotional as I think about the sleepless nights to come, the time I'll be away from the baby after he/she is born, and how much of a challenge this new job will be for me mentally. (I mean, supervising 12 women with no past supervisory skills - holy crap!) It seems all so overwhelming right now and even though I know I have to move forward with this job, it's very hard for me to want to with this little baby growing inside of me.
Some days I feel so ready to take on the world - "I can be a super mom and excel in my career at the same time!" - and other days I just wonder what the hell I'm doing. There's so many questions...
Who's going to watch the baby until my parents are able to be here permanently in the Spring?
Who's going to clean the house and do the laundry when I'm exhausted and working a billion hours whilst being up all night with a newborn?
How will I work so many hours, come home, make dinner, take care of a baby and then be up all night with diaper changes and feedings, only to wake up at the crack of dawn again the next morning to do it all over again?
I know everything will work itself out, but nonetheless, I'm pretty stressed out right now. It's all so overwhelming and I think it's magnified by 100 times because of my hormonal changes.
5.5 weeks...
Originally written: January 22, 2009
I'm estimating myself at 5.5 weeks based on the first day of my last period, but I won't find out a due date from my doc for at least a couple of weeks. I have a pre-natal class I have to attend on the 28th of January which is supposed to be about 2.5 hours and then from there I get my first pre-natal appointment with my doctor. This waiting is killing me! I just want to get to the point where I hear the baby's heartbeat and then I feel like I can be more at ease. But that could be weeks from now, so I'm getting really impatient.
I found out I was pregnant on Saturday the 10th of January. I took 4 tests, all came back with faint positive lines. I tested because the night before my boobs were really sore and my back was killing me between my shoulder blades. It's been 10 days since I tested and so far I've had the following symptoms almost every day:
Fatigue
Bloating
Sore breasts
Sore back
Frequent urination
Dryness of skin / Severe "itchies"
Pregnancy allergies
More irritability than normal
All are easy enough to put up with and I have no complaints. Two days ago I bought a "Be Band" by "Bella Band" and I'm successfully wearing it as a sit at my desk.
We've only told a few people. I find not telling anyone the hardest because it's just something you want to shout from the rooftops because you're so excited. You can't wait to hear and see everyones reactions. But, we've only told people that either need to know or that will understand if we were to miscarry. As for my closest friends, I like telling them in person vs email because then I can see their reaction. I'm also working on a possible promotion and I don't want to spoil it by telling everyone under the sun. After allI will be a working mom with a career to boot!
At this point I'm just excited every day. I'm worried but excited and each day that I have symptoms and no blood or bad cramping, that is a great day. I've been eating organically, cutting out 99% of my caffeine, eating more whole grains, taking my DHA and pre-natal supplements, and trying to get enough rest. Each day that things continue to feel good and look good is a day that I'm thrilled. I really look forward to every day of the next 9 months as I hope it will not only be a rewarding experience, but prep me for the years ahead!
I'm estimating myself at 5.5 weeks based on the first day of my last period, but I won't find out a due date from my doc for at least a couple of weeks. I have a pre-natal class I have to attend on the 28th of January which is supposed to be about 2.5 hours and then from there I get my first pre-natal appointment with my doctor. This waiting is killing me! I just want to get to the point where I hear the baby's heartbeat and then I feel like I can be more at ease. But that could be weeks from now, so I'm getting really impatient.
I found out I was pregnant on Saturday the 10th of January. I took 4 tests, all came back with faint positive lines. I tested because the night before my boobs were really sore and my back was killing me between my shoulder blades. It's been 10 days since I tested and so far I've had the following symptoms almost every day:
Fatigue
Bloating
Sore breasts
Sore back
Frequent urination
Dryness of skin / Severe "itchies"
Pregnancy allergies
More irritability than normal
All are easy enough to put up with and I have no complaints. Two days ago I bought a "Be Band" by "Bella Band" and I'm successfully wearing it as a sit at my desk.
We've only told a few people. I find not telling anyone the hardest because it's just something you want to shout from the rooftops because you're so excited. You can't wait to hear and see everyones reactions. But, we've only told people that either need to know or that will understand if we were to miscarry. As for my closest friends, I like telling them in person vs email because then I can see their reaction. I'm also working on a possible promotion and I don't want to spoil it by telling everyone under the sun. After allI will be a working mom with a career to boot!
At this point I'm just excited every day. I'm worried but excited and each day that I have symptoms and no blood or bad cramping, that is a great day. I've been eating organically, cutting out 99% of my caffeine, eating more whole grains, taking my DHA and pre-natal supplements, and trying to get enough rest. Each day that things continue to feel good and look good is a day that I'm thrilled. I really look forward to every day of the next 9 months as I hope it will not only be a rewarding experience, but prep me for the years ahead!
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