I'm wondering how often this feeling will come. It's probably pregnancy hormones, but I feel insanely sad today about being alone. Being alone meaning all of my close family and friends are not here. This came about as I tried on bras at the maternity store yesterday. There were loads of pregnant women in there with their moms and friends, all of them picking out clothes and helping them along, telling them what looks good, what looks bad, what's cute. I, on the other hand, had the store clerk helping me fit into the appropriate bra because I had no one else to give me advice. That was really hard and the first time this entire pregnancy I've actually realized that I don't really have anyone here besides Jeff to share the daily experiences with and of course since he's the dad, that's great, but there's some things that it's hard for him to get excited about and some things he just can't help out with, like bras, clothes, food cravings, the little minute details like bottles, baby wipes and formulas.
Today seems really hard. Jeff's gone golfing and I'd like nothing more but to see some friends or my mom, but instead I'm cleaning, doing the grocery shopping and making dinner. I think the nice weather also contributes to the need to just get out, even if it's just for lunch or to window shop.
I just wonder what it'll be like when we deliver the baby. I know Alicia and Jeff's mom will try and get down here, but if they can't, isn't it sad to think that no one will be in the waiting room for us?
I know this whole thing is ridiculous. Lisa delivered Aubrey in Idaho with no one but Philip and Laura and most of my friends don't have their moms nearby, so why am I making such a big deal?
I guess it's just a lot of first time changes and experiences that sometimes excite me and sometimes scare me. I can't share those all with Jeff because it's just not the same as a mom or a girlfriend. He doesn't really GET it and I'm not sure what I mean by that, but I'm sure most women know what I'm talking about.
On another brief note, I'm pretty convinced it's a boy. I don't know why, but I am. I looked at boy bedding and clothes yesterday at Babies R Us. They had a cute Classic Mickey pattern that I would love to use! I also think I finally found a pattern I like for the travel system, playard and swing. We'll probably start registering in either late April or May (depending on our schedules, we're pretty busy) and I sure hope the registry people have a good list for me to follow because I'm pretty clueless right now what I need! I did get a really good body pillow yesterday though. Cost me an arm and a leg though, it better last through a kid or two!
Well, I'm going to go cook some breakfast and pick up the kitchen and family room. Task 1 of the many I have ahead of me today. I actually feel better now...
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3 comments:
If you would like I can plan to fly out there to be there for your labor and birth. I did get lucky because my Mom and Uncle came out for Aubrey's birth. It does help to have family and friends around, so don't feel bad. Its completely natural to feel this way.
I could plan a trip in Sept. and then we are coming out in Nov. for our Thanksgiving trip as well. Just let me know, I'll be there for you.
You're so sweet :-) How did I ever find such a good hearted and great friend like you?
My mom will be here, it will just take her a day or so to come down. She'll only be here for a week and then she has to go home. I'd love to have you out, but I know you have your own kids to take care of, especially since Aubrey is still so young. If you could make it out, I would absolutely love it. Let's chat when it gets closer.
Big big hugs,
M
As time gets closer, we'll figure it out. LOL I guess the Backstreet Boys were good for one thing....we found each other! XOXO I hope you get more rest and STAT! :)
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